Dauntless A Broken Girl
by isa's misery
Summary: Tobias was not the only child of Marcus, he had a sister. And three years after he defected she followed. One girl stands out, and catches the youngest leaders attention, whether he wants her to or not. She suffered pain and is hiding secrets even from her brother, pain that the least expected person manages to heal, in an very unorthodox, and unapproved, way
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: As of summer 2016 I am getting back into this story. It has been a long time coming I know, so sorry. So many excuses, the phone I was writing it on died so all my pre written chapters were lost and then I got frustrated. I had two kids. I moved across country blah blah blah. I am now writing on my laptop and will edit the story then keep going. Thank you for everyone that has read!**

**A/N:** Alright chapter one! So before you read I want to get a few things straight. 1) I'm writing this on my phone it is literally impossible to edit. So sorry in advance. Maybe one day I start using a computer. 2) This is the first thing I have written in years. I'm down for constructive criticism but 'this sux' is a waste of everyone's time. 3) I changed a couple things, choosing is when their 17 not 16 as I just like that age better. Feels more adult like haha. Also there is a three-year age gap between Tris and Tobias instead of two, and this is set in her initiate year but focuses on my OC. It will 'follow' divergent til the end then I'll start changing it more and more and basically 2 and 3 wont exist plot wise. By follow I mean all Divergent ideas and people are property of Veronica Roth. I will try to use a lot of her main scenes but since I am adding in a new character and changing some ideas (dauntless training ect) a lot of it will fall out the window. Literally, dauntless style.

Hmm...I think that's it. Well, here it is.

**Chapter One**

Clarissa slowly ambled down the alley keeping in step with her brother who seemed to be dragging his feet. "Tobias?" She asked softly, "Why so glum, you get to choose tomorrow." She said the word 'choose' almost reverently. It was a day a lot of youth dreaded but she looked forward to being considered an adult, to leave, to be free.

Tobias Eaton glanced at his younger sister. He was seventeen; he knew this day was coming. While he too wished nothing more than to leave he was afraid, afraid for her. "Well, I guess I won't know until the aptitude test this afternoon." He hedged, not wanting to commit to the answer.

She scoffed. "Please, even if it results in Abnegation we both know you'll choose something else." She paused, then smiled slyly at him. "Maybe amity. Peaceful. Yes, you're definitely peaceful."

It was his turn to scoff. After last night he was pretty sure they could at least agree he wasn't peaceful, if nothing else. He rubbed his knuckles remembering the rush he felt as he fought back. His backed ached though; Marcus was not very forgiving. Clarissa glanced at his back knowing part of the reason for their slow pace was his probable pain, and didn't say anything else. They walked the rest of the way in silence, once they reached the school they parted with a brief tight smile.

Clarissa moved towards her morning class, faction history. She filed in among the other fourteen-year-olds. None of them seemed to care that today was a life changing event. They weren't taking the test, and if they had siblings who were they probably expected them to stay within their respective factions. She sighed, and tried to focus on the lesson, not wanting to think about how she'd be going home alone tomorrow, and everyday thereafter.

Clarissa found her brother waiting outside at the end of the day and was thankful he waited to walk her home. Maybe he realized how truly lonely she'd be once he left. They both went out of their way to avoid people, never wanting them to look too close, see the truth, to face Marcus if someone ever found out. "How was it?" She asked once they were halfway home, away from most of the crowds, a few abnegation children walking in a small reserved group ahead of them.

"You're not supposed to ask." He laughed, she was terrible at being selfless. She was so curious, he thought she'd make a good Erudite.

"So?"

Tobias just sighed a little. "Abnegation, as expected. He'll be pleased."

"Until tomorrow you mean." She pressed.

He just smiled at her and again they finished the walk in silence, as they were both so used to keeping to themselves. Once home they worked efficiently together to make dinner. It was ready, with most of it cleaned up, by the time their father got home. Marcus was tight lipped but in no worse a mood than this morning. As a leader he probably had access to the results and was satisfied with Tobias'.

Marcus surprised them both at the end of the silent meal when he spoke up. "I'll finish cleaning up. The two of you should go to bed early tonight, for some self-reflection time."

"Of course father," Tobias said before his sister had a chance to say something stupid, he was forever trying to curb her natural sarcasm. "Thank you." The two carried the dishes into the kitchen, before heading up to bed. Once in the hallway, Clarissa turned to her brother unsmiling.

"How can we have self-reflection without looking in a mirror?" She whispered rebelliously.

He frowned at her. "Just... Just go to sleep." He finally sighed. "I'll see you in the morning." He hesitated before leaning in and giving her a hug. She returned it somewhat stiffly, neither of them used to the contact, and leaned into him for a moment longer before pulling away.

"Goodnight."

In the morning, after an easy breakfast of oatmeal, Clarissa climbed into the back of her father's car, Tobias and Marcus filling front seat. As a leader he had transportation and today was a special day. The choosing ceremony. Once they reached the building they shuffled up the stairs in a group of murky grey, no one standing out against another. Once in the room Marcus was called off to the side to talk to some others important figures. Tobias took the moment they had alone as they headed to the seats, leaving one for their father, to grab her hand. She was surprised but didn't pull away.

"I love you, you know." He said as they sat down.

"I know." She replied solemnly.

"I'm sorry," He went on to say, very softly, she almost missed it.

"I know." Clarissa repeated, just as soft. They released hands just before Marcus came to sit down, no other words spoken.

Amity was hosting this year's choosing. The woman dressed in a yellow sun dress with a red cardigan took the stage, repeating the words that were spoken every year. She was a tad bit more cheerful then others who had given it but it was just as boring. Clarissa tuned out, just as she was sure Tobias had. The room waited in tense silence as the first youth was called, walking up to the five large bowels the boy looked confident in erudite blue. Sure enough a moment later Johanna called out the expected faction; "Erudite!" The crowd in blue erupted into small cheers and applause.

Finally, it was Tobias' turn. He stood stiffly when it was his turn, and didn't look at either family member as he walked passed them down to the stage. All at once Clarissa felt terrified he would stay and terrified he would go. It was a lose-lose situation. It felt like a lifetime but could only have been seconds when the Amity leader called out, mild shock in her voice, "Dauntless!" She exhaled a breath she didn't know she had been holding, refusing to look at the man beside her whose anger she could literally feel radiating off in waves. His body tense as he too refused to make eye contact with anybody looking in his direction.

'It's going to be a long three years.' She thought sadly to herself, but she caught a look at her brother and his face said it all. Freedom. She would make it through, scarred perhaps, but she would make it. He couldn't do any worse than had been done two years previous. 'Dauntless.' She thought with a sudden ferocity as she continued to look over at her brother. She would repeat it to herself many times over the next few years, a mantra, her lifeline. 'Dauntless.'

Clarissa bounced out of bed the moment she woke up, literally trembling with excitement. Yesterday had been well enough, but today, today was her choosing ceremony. She dressed carefully in grey slacks, grey t shirt and a grey tunic over top. She wrapped her hair in her normal bun and carefully made her bed. After tying her basic grey shoes, she made one last look around her room making sure everything was in place and then cautiously made her way downstairs. It was quiet in the house. "Must have stayed at the office last night." She muttered to herself. Since Tobias defected three years ago Marcus had thrown himself into his work. Most saw his taking on ridiculous workloads as his selflessness but Clarissa saw it for what it was. An escape. His oldest child had, embarrassingly, transferred to a different faction. Maybe he thought that by leaving the rest of her upbringing to the other adults of the faction she'd stay. Whatever his reason she had scarcely seen her father over the last three years. She could hardly even remember the last time they spoke, though she knew he had been mad that night. She was 'sick' and kept home from school for a whole week while she healed after that. It must of been around her seventeenth birthday, though selflessly she had never celebrated and barely acknowledged it.

She ate an apple quickly, before washing her hands and face and rushing out the door. She needed to catch the bus today. She arrived at the stop after the other seventeen-year-old abnegation children and most of their parents, just in time it pulled around the corner as she entered the group. It was almost comical watching them all try and let each other on first, if it wasn't so annoying. Finally, they were on the bus and four stops later all the abnegation had given up their seats as it got fuller. That is something she wouldn't miss.

Once the bus reached the main building she again watched abnegation let everyone off first, which was almost harder than just getting off as they were already standing. The group climbed the stairs and entered the circular room with five bowls representing each faction up front on the stage. After a quick scan of the room Clarissa slowly walked over to the group of her current faction members, sliding into a spot beside her father. She was almost surprised to see him there, but of course he had to keep up appearances. Maybe he knew that, like Tobias, her aptitude test result wasn't going to keep her in the faction. He didn't even look at her as she sat down, perhaps he was already stewing about her transferring as well. He had to know she would. Glancing sideways at him she saw that he looked tired, though clean shaven and ready for the day. He probably expected to be approached if and when she transferred. Need to look the part, always need to look the part.

This year was hosted by Erudite, once all the seats were filled Jeanine Mathews strode onto the stage. She, very eloquently, gave the yearly speech. But just like every year Clarissa focus more on the bowls then the talking figure. Finally, the seventeen-year-olds were being called, one by one. She would be near the end as it went reverse alphabetical order. This year she paid attention, wanting to catch the name of everyone who she would go through initiation with. There were mostly non transfers, generally being raised one way made it hard to choose to change. There were a few transfers, nothing unusual. Then a boy from abnegation, Caleb; there were shocked mutters from the people around her as Jeanine shouted "Erudite!" since it was selfish to want to leave. The next one called was Beatrice, Caleb's sister. We had done home work together sometimes, especially the last three years when Marcus had been working and the other parents all insisted I came over for dinner or walked to school with them. Even more shocking was the cry of "Dauntless!" that meant she too had transferred. The Prior parents sat silently holding one another's hands. Clarissa would never have suspected that from either of them. Then again, perhaps others would say that of her.

In no time she heard her name being called. She stood, still not making eye contact with her father, and made her way to the front. She was oddly calm, despite knowing how people would react. She wasn't even really excited, as her blood dropped onto the dauntless coals, it just felt... right.

Dauntless; the cheers erupted as she moved towards them and sat among the rambunctious faction members. Her faction. Dauntless.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So as I'm writing I keep trying to slip into first person so from now on it will generally be Clarissa's POV... maybe a weird mix of first and third... Is that a thing? Any English majors out there? Lol. Hope it's not too confusing. Anyways, here's chapter two. It starts to get interesting; I abhor filler!

**Clarissa's POV**

Once the ceremony ended the dauntless were the first on their feet. I followed the rush of people out the door in a mess of limbs as we all flew down the stairs. This felt good, it was so easy to be a part of this crowd. Despite my clothing difference it felt natural, like I belonged. We hit the double doors downstairs and streamed out into the fresh air. Running along the road people quickly got out of our way. I found myself near the back of the crowd but I was not about to overdo it before I knew what else was coming. We stopping a few blocks from the school and by the time I was under the tracks there were already a few people up top. Finding an empty post I climbed the metal rungs up to the train tracks. After watching for years I knew what came next. So too did Beatrice, who was in line beside me, both of us grinning like crazed people. After a few moments of waiting the train came and I realized we were crazy, running to get in line and pull ourselves into the train car. I had watched them do it but never really appreciated the strength and coordination required to pull yourself up. Beatrice must have felt the same as we were both panting as we leaned against the wall once safely inside. I slowly felt my adrenaline lower and my hands nearly trembled as I thought about what we had just done.

"Made it did you?" I turned to see a tall girl dressed in candor colors speaking to us. "Two stiffs," She gave a small laugh and I knew she wasn't trying to be mean. "How unusual." She slid down the wall and sat next to us as the wind blew through the car.

"Yea well, couldn't let Beatrice go alone, when I saw her transfer, now could I." I winked at Beatrice as I said this.

"I'm Christina, this is Beatrice and you're..." She trailed off looking at me.

"Clarissa, " I smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"What do you think is next?" Beatrice asked, as we all peered around at the other faces. Mostly transfers in this car, dauntless born were probably closer to the front.

I listened quietly as the two thought aloud, I still wasn't used to being talkative and my nerves were catching up to me. After a while one of the other transfers yelled "They're jumping!" Sure enough, after we all scrambled to our feet, I saw black clad people flying out of the train to a building a few feet across. We were at least seven stories up.

Christina and Beatrice were still at the door as I backed up and when they moved I rushed forward without thinking. I jumped, pushing myself with as much power as I could, leaping across the distance. I didn't land very gracefully, but I landed. I think I was the first transfer across looking around as I stood up. I heard a shriek to my left and saw someone slip off the roof. I shut my eyes and stepped away from the edge, I didn't want to see that. I opened my eyes to see others continuing farther onto the roof, apparently no one cared that someone had just died. I swallowed hard, I didn't want to be the one who showed weakness, no matter how much my abnegation upbringing was screaming at me as the girl cried out loudly towards her fallen friend. I needed to change, to be brave and fierce, to be dauntless. I looked around again as I followed the majority of the group forward and sighed as I saw Beatrice and Christina had made it. The was an amity missing from the roof, I hope he just didn't jump but I couldn't concentrate enough to find out.

"Listen up!"

My head jerked towards the loud voice. A tall man with dark skin and greying hair was staring intently at our group.

"My name is Max, I'm one of the five dauntless leaders, your new faction." He continued, there were several other adults standing beside him also watching us. "Behind me," He gestured to the edge of the building, caged in with three other buildings. "Is the members entrance. It's your only way in. You don't jump, you aren't in." He jumped off the lip and back onto the roof and glared at the mumbled 'we _just_ jumped' before addressing us again. "Who's first?"

You've got to be kidding me, not even an explanation. He didn't reply as someone asked what was at the bottom just glared a bit more, obviously irritated at having to be here. He looked ready to snap at us when I heard a familiar voice say "me." Beatrice was jumping first. Beatrice. The girl I did homework with after cleaning up dishes. I almost couldn't believe it as I watched her walk forward towards the dark hole. She took off her tunic, dressed much like I had, before climbing onto the ledge. "take it off!" a boy jeered from the crowd. I turned to him, dressed in candor white and black. I could tell we wouldn't be friends, he caught my eye and sneered.

"I don't have all day, initiate! " Max snapped impatiently. Beatrice jumped. We all rushed forward to see what happened, but we saw only into darkness. I realized, too late with my concern for her, that everyone else had pulled back again. I was left standing alone at the lip and Max looked at me with raised eyebrows.

He obviously wanted me to go next. Steadily I climbed up and slowly stood straight. I couldn't glance back at the other members watching me, I stared into the space below. Beatrice did it, I didn't hear her scream, she must be alright. With that thought I jumped. I felt the building whoosh past my legs, a few inches closer and I might have broken them on the way down. That was stupid, I should have pushed out farther. I didn't even realize what I had done until I hit a net, lost my breath and bounced a few times. I just jumped off a fucking roof. After jumping ON to the fucking roof. Was I in over my head? I caught my breath and noticed the dip in the net as hands reached toward me. Right, if I don't get off the next person might land on me. I grabbed the first pair I could reach and he pulled me of the net, steadying my shoulders as I remembered how to breath.

I turned to thank him, but stopped short, my mouth still open. Unbelievable. I knew he'd be here but I never expected him to literally be the first person I saw in the compound. My mouth still open I realized he was talking. "Name? One stiff doesn't know her name and now two." I heard some scattered laughing and snapped my mouth shut, glaring at my sooner-then-expected-seen brother. "if it's that difficult you can change it but you can only change it once."

"Clair." I think I snarled at him, ripping out of his grasp and moving towards Beatrice.

"Clair, second jumper!" He repeated already reached for the next initiate. I watched a woman write my name on a board, under 'Tris.'

"Tris, I like it." I smiled tightly at her.

"Clair has a certain ring to it," She laughed obviously on an adrenaline high. I don't think she recognized my brother. Then again, it has been three years and I barely recognized him. I looked over as he pulled the fourth jumper off, he didn't seem to care I was here. I think I'm still too shocked to be upset. I'll let upset creep in later, right now, I made it! I couldn't help but share a laugh as more initiates joined us. We jumped off a moving train, and then a building. We were here, we were dauntless. I let my mind wander aimlessly as we waited for the final jumpers. I was trying to calm down a bit and take in everything I could. After some time, we stood facing Max, my brother and some other dauntless members.

"Alright, Dauntless born follow me!" The woman who wrote out all the names called out, not wasting any time, Lauren someone called her. The majority of the group left us.

"Transfers! My name is Four. I am going to be your trainer for the next few months." Four? I wonder where that came from. Not that I care. He hasn't even looked at me. I don't care.

"Four?!" Christina called out, picking up on the same thought I had. "Like the number? "

"Exactly like the number " Four replied.

"What, were one, two and three taken?" She continued, definitely a candor.

Four stepped close to her. "What's your name?"

"Christina. " She held her head high. At least we know she's brave.

"Well, Christina," He made her name sound like an insult. I was almost impressed, until I remembered I didn't care. "The first thing you learn from me, is to keep your mouth shut." He backed away without waiting for a response. "This way!" He called.

We all filed passed the remaining dauntless members. Four was pointing things out as we passed, apparently we were getting a tour.

"This is the pit; center of life here at dauntless." Four stood at the edge we all peered into the middle. The pit was aptly named. He continued down the hallway leaving us with no choice but to follow. We were warned about the chasm briefly and led past it. "Here," He said a few turns later. "Is where you'll be sleeping."

I stepped into the room with the others. Five bunk beds, with lockers between them and a doorway was across the room. "Girls or boys?" One of the candors ask.

"Both." Four was smirking. When did he learn to smirk? Not that I care.

"If you like this you'll love the bathroom. " He laughed gesturing towards the door across the room. I walked towards it with a bad feeling in my stomach. Toilet and shower stalls, no doors, both with what appeared to be makeshift curtains that some modest soul must have put up at one point. The worst part was how dirty it was. It smelt awful, and looked worse. I would get dirtier then clean showering in there. We didn't have time to complain as we were already getting more instructions. "There's a pile of clothes for you here, find something and get dressed. Meet me in the hall with your old clothes." Four walked out after that.

Tris and I hung back, apparently our abnegation upbringing was ingrained in us both, we let everyone go first. Unfortunately, that meant by the time we grabbed clothes everyone had chosen bunks and we were stuck with the one in the middle. There were two on either side against the wall and the one we were left with was in the middle, forming an 'H' in the room. The lockers on either side would provide us with some privacy as we slept but none as we stood there needing to change. Without saying anything we faced each other and started to dress, at least partially blocking the other with our body. There were a few crude comments but we managed to quickly pull our grey clothes off and black ones on. In fact, despite starting last we were the first two out the door. Four stood there talking quietly with a guy about his age, both seemed to be impatiently waiting, and neither even glanced at us as they continued a hushed conversation. After a few more minutes they started walking down the hall again, not even checking to see if everyone was there. I guess you snooze you lose is a common theme here.

They walked us down a few hallways and stopped at a burning bin. "Toss in your old clothes and then move inside the cafeteria. You are all dauntless now, time to start acting like it." Four said as the stranger continued into the cafeteria, he followed just after, leaving us to burn our clothes.

"What a waste," I muttered. "Surely something better could be done with them." I watched my clothes for a minute as Christina and Tris stepped up beside me and tossed theirs in.

"I guess it's symbolic, " Christina laughed. She had must have never spent much time around the under dressed and under fed factionless. "Who cares! Let's go eat!" She moved towards the room where everyone else had already gone, Tris and I being the only two who seemed put out by the burning. I'll stamp out the abnegation in me sooner or later, despite it having literally been beat in. I followed the two girls as they sat at a table with a few other initiates and, unfortunately I saw too late, Four. I sat across from Tris, who was between Four and Christina. I watched amused as she prodded a piece of meat, and refused to look at 'Four.'

Christina watched her too. "What, you've never seen a burger before? "

"No, I've seen them... I've just never eaten one." Tris looked up at me and I shrugged, grabbing one and taking a quick bite.

I listened to the banter as I chewed the burger, there were a lot of things going on at once in the one piece of meat. Nothing like boiled chicken. I looked up startled when Four spoke. "I don't want to hear about your old factions." He looked at me. "You're dauntless now."

I couldn't help but frown as Tris turned to him "Were you a transfer too?" Well, I guess she really didn't remember.

Four just looked at her stoically. "What makes you think you can talk to me?"

Everyone turned to their suddenly very interesting food. Except Tris, "It must be because you're so approachable."

Before he had a chance to angrily reply, I butted in. "Like a bed of nails."

"Making friends already?" A deep voice asked as the body settled into the seat beside me on the bench and across from Four. It was the man Four had been talking to in the hallway. I stared at my plate my curiosity begging me to look at him but I certainly wasn't going to get caught staring while his leg was carelessly pressed against mine. I suddenly cursed our accommodations and eating arrangement, my childhood having not prepared me for being around so many people so closely and often. I couldn't even shift away as Will was just as close on my other side.

"As usual Eric," Four replied. He looked at Eric expectantly. At first glance I might assume they were friends but the way he waited for whatever Eric came over for told me he was eager to part ways.

Eric glanced at the table of initiates. "Two stiffs and some candors, not your usual crowd." He continued. We were dressed in black how did he know? Did he watch the ceremony? The jumping? He must have.

"Yea, well, I like to keep people guessing." Four responded easily as he started on his salad.

"Max is looking for you," I could feel the tension in Eric's body as he said this, though he casually grabbed a burger and started eating.

Four frowned not looking up. "Again? I told him I'm not interested."

That seemed to satisfy Eric as he relaxed. "Maybe he'll get it this time." The two stood up together a few minutes later, once they had both finished their food, and left the dining hall.

"Weird, right?" Christina asked as she leaned in. "I don't think those two are friends."

"I suppose we'll find out," Tris said. "Since they'll be training us together, that's what they were talking about in the hallway."

"Hey," I thought suddenly wanting to change the subject. "Anyone remember how to get back to the dorm?"

They all looked at me for a second. "I think I do." Will said. "I mean, it can't be hard to find, they wouldn't just leave us if they expected us to get lost?" Erudite logic, I thought with a small laugh.

"I wouldn't be surprised if those two hoped we got lost, so they wouldn't have to bother with us." Tris said looking around. The other group of transfers had already left. "Shall we try to find it?"

We all stood up, "Lead the way smarty pants." I gestured Will ahead of Christina, Tris and I. There was another boy with us too, Al. He looked like a nice guy, despite his size.

After a few u-turns and asking three different people for directions we found the dorms. "Well that wasn't hard!" Christina said with a laugh. "I bet in three weeks we'll only get lost once!"

We all agreed and I wondered why they kept everything so dark as we moved towards our bunks. Will was sharing with Peter, Molly and Drew on the same side of the room. Christina had a bunk with Al and the the two other Erudite transfers, Edward and Myra, were beside them. We all crawled into our bunks, Christina muttering about needing more clothes. I couldn't help but agree with her. Being clean and having privacy was one luxury I never realized I had in abundance in abnegation. I fell into an uncomfortable sleep on the top bunk tuning out any sounds of the others. Tomorrow, we'd get things figured out. Today was over and I was here. 'Dauntless…' was my last thought as I drifted into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The next morning, I was startled awake with some sharp loud banging. It took me a moment to remember I was in dauntless compound as I blearily opened my eyes and peered around. Four stood at the entrance with a large pipe, I covered my ears as I saw him winding back to hit it against the door frame again.

"Initiates! " He called. "Two minutes to be dressed and meet me in the hallway." He turned and walked back out the door.

I sleepily swung down off of my bunk, careful not to hit Tris who was already sitting up, and sat beside her to tie my shoes. Looks like we both slept in full clothes. I watched the others still trying to adjust to my situation. Once my shoes were secure we headed out with the others and followed Four down the hallway. I tried to pay more attention to where we were going but I did not focus well right when I woke up. He led us into a large open cavern like room.

"As you will recall me saying yesterday this is the pit! The center of life in Dauntless. Here you will find everything you need for your first few weeks. Initiates are issued a certain amount of points each month and store keepers will automatically deduct from your account as you buy things. Careful not to spend them all in one place. You will not be given extra."

He turned to walk down a few more hallways and we all obediently followed. We ended up in the same room we ate in last night. Having missed lunch yesterday, I suddenly realized I was starving. "You have half an hour to eat before we head to the training room!" Four told us. Not needing to be told twice we sat down at the closest empty table and I wasted no time grabbing a bit of everything.

"Hungry? " Al laughed at my plateful.

"Very," I agreed as I took a bite of something delicious. "But I mostly want to try everything."

Christina, Will and Al spent the meal taking turns telling Tris and I what we were eating. I ate more than the others and finally Will couldn't take it.

"Where do you put it all! Pancakes, sausages, bacon, ham, hash browns, eggs. Did you eat a cake when I wasn't looking too?!"

I looked around eagerly. "There's cake?"

"No... Clair seriously you're going to get sick eating all that."

I rested a hand on my belly. "I love eating, we were given portions but eating was one thing I could always do without feeling bad." I frowned thinking. "I think I remember my dad saying I had my mom's metabolism... Something to do with food whatever it means "

"Metabolism," Will said as we grouped with the others to once again follow Four. "Is how your body takes the food. Digests it into energy for you to use. Someone whose large and eats the exact same as someone smaller just has a slower metabolism. Their body doesn't digest it into useful cells as well, and they're left with more fat."

"Oh. I guess I know who I'm always directing my questions too." I joke poking his arm.

Before he had a chance to respond we were walking into a large room, it was as dark as everything else and I could barely see the edges. Four walked over and stood next to Eric on a barely raised mat close to the door we just walked through.

"OK!" Four started, "This is the training room. You are to be here at eight every morning. We will break for lunch and then continue on until six. After supper the evening is yours, to do whatever you please. Training is broken down into three stages. The first is physical, we will be spending a lot of time in here, even past first stage you need to train. The second is emotional, and then the third and final stage is mental. At the end of each stage your rankings will be posted." He gestured to a board behind him which had our names already listed alphabetically. "Dauntless born will not train with you during the first stage but you will be ranked against them."

"Ranking? Ranking for what?"

"Your ranking will decide the kind of job you get after initiation. "

"And," Eric jumped in. "It will decide who gets cut." His voice was as cold as his eyes as he said that scanning everyone's faces.

"Cut?" Al took the bait, someone always takes the bait.

"Yes," Eric smirked. "At the end of stage one four people will be cut. Four of you or four dauntless born or any combination in between. At the end of stage three only sixteen of you will be accepted. There are ten of you and sixteen dauntless born, so another six will be sent out."

"Sent out where?" Peter asked.

"Well, you can't go back to your families, so you will be factionless." Silence met Eric's statement.

"Factionless!" Christina cried out. "If we had known-"

Eric interrupted her. "You'd what? Choose differently? What, out of fear? You chose us, now we get to choose you."

Four continued on to explain how we would be ranked but everyone was a little forlorn. Chances are all ten of us would be cut. "Now! Let's get started!"

We spent the morning watching Four demonstrate some basic moves, trying to reproduce them ourselves. It didn't seem like much but by lunch everybody was starting to get sore. After lunch we continued but he had us start hitting a hanging bag. Four and Eric moved around the room, telling everyone what they doing wrong and fixing our stances. Four reached Tris beside me as Eric reached Christina on my other side. "Keep your center tight," I saw Four put his hand on Tris' stomach. I tensed my stomach and threw another punch.

"Your arms are too low," Eric said reaching out and lifting Christina's arms so they blocked her face better. I raised my arms too.

Four was telling Tris to use her elbows when Eric stood behind me. I threw a few more punches studiously ignoring him as he watched me. Suddenly his hands were on my hips shifting me a different direction. It took all my willpower not to jump and scream, not used to abrupt contact. I clenched my teeth and stared hard at the bag as he moved into my line of site. "You need to stand at an angle, so there's less of a target for your opponent to hit."

I looked over at him, he was amused, he probably knew in abnegation we rarely touched, unless your father was abusive but you never got used to that touch. "Are you saying I'm fat?" And now my sarcasm is showing. "There's so much of me to be a target?" I couldn't help it I wanted to make him even a little uncomfortable. He didn't even twitch.

Slowly, his gaze moved up and down as he looked at me, I fought the blush at being so blatantly stared at but I know it won. "You said it stiff, not me." And then he turned to watch Tris throw her next punch. Four was now behind me, glaring at Eric much as I was. I tensed my stomach, raised my arms and turned sideways. I threw myself into my next punch, wishing it was a person not a bag and felt satisfaction as my bag swung for the first time.

"Use that strength for every hit," Four said simply. "It will be exhausting but that is how you build muscle and stamina."

He moved on without another word. Now angry at both instructors it was easy to hit harder, I kept a rhythm and each time my arms sagged I tried a few kicks. I focused on my arms though I figured if I couldn't grab anything that's fine but I need to be able walk.

When supper time rolled around we all wearily trailed Four and Eric to the dining hall. I followed behind Tris without thinking, too focused on my listless arms, and once seated found myself across from Christina. "So!" She said with more energy than she should rightfully have. "Dinner, then shopping." I really wasn't interested but I needed something that fit, and was clean, and I felt like she was not about to take no for an answer. The group of us agree and after eating followed the excited girl to the pit. "Hey, I remembered where it was!" She stated proudly.

"Hah, the stores probably sung to you. I've never met anyone so excited for shopping" I looked at the two boys and Tris. They definitely didn't look eager or enthusiastic.

"Well, abnegation would find it self-indulgent. And most boys don't care what they wear." Will and Al shrugged in agreement as Christina said that. "You're lucky you befriended me!" She continued, turning into a shop with clothes.

Friend. Was she my friend? I had never really had any before. She said it so casually. I saw Tris at the same time she glanced at me. We both smiled shyly at each other. I would say Tris was a friend now for sure. We always got along in abnegation but now it felt different. I guessed we were both as used to friends, or not friends, and Christina was a perfect start. Loud enough and insistent to keep us included. Speaking of she was shoving a bunch of clothes at me. "Go try them on!" She ushered me towards a tiny cubicle room.

Sighing I began the, I very soon found out, tedious process of putting clothes on and off in different styles and shapes and colors. I would pick up clothes growing up in pre bagged stacks, no choices. "Christina!" I called stepping out of the room in jeans and a corset that didn't cover my stomach and had no straps. I knew it was a corset because of the rumpled tag. "I am not wearing this. Find me something less, less-" Her and I both jumped as an unfamiliar voice finished my sentence.

"Beautiful? " We turned to see a guy with dark skin fluttering his eyes at me. "Your skin radiates against the dark fabric. Black is definitely your color."

He was teasing me. He thought this was funny. Someone stepped up from my left and moved to stand next to him. "Zeke," My stomach dropped as he turned. Just my luck, Eric. "Stop flirting with my initiates. You'll scare them."

I'm embarrassed to admit my jaw dropped as I stepped back into the little room and slammed the door, hiding. A few minutes later Christina cracked it and smiled sheepishly at me. Handing me some more things. "I'm sorry, I'm impressed you put it on, if Tris did she refused to show me. I wanted to see what kind of clothes would suit you." She looked at me innocently.

I narrowed my eyes. "You mean how far you could push things like that on me. Why, I do believe that's the first almost lie you've ever told."

She grinned. "I didn't transfer for nothing. I've got your size these should be more your style."

I tried on the garments she left me with much more success. I left the store with three tank tops, two t-shirts and three sweaters that she said were to be worn as just a shirt. They were a little roomy, which I liked, and I got one in dark purple, dark red, and black. The only color to my wardrobe. I also had three pants, two shorts, some leggings, and a generic jacket, as well as more generic underwear, training bras and boots. The store keeper told us that the light workout clothes were mass produced so required much less points then, for example a dress, and as trainees we were given enough to get the basics. I was surprised Christina found anything for herself she spent so much time dressing all of us.

We went back to the dorm, and I moved into the bathroom to take stock. I used the cafeteria wash room earlier but I need to shower. And this room was bad. The others came in behind me and scrunched their faces as they all took a shower stall. I couldn't even step all the way in. I turned and left the dorm, heading back for the pit. He said it was the center of dauntless. Sure enough after scanning several groups I saw Four among some others his age, one being the guy from earlier, Zeke. I walked up to him and grabbed his arm. He looked surprised, then worried as he saw me before his face closed off. "What?" He asked as Zeke cried, "Beautiful! " Delightedly.

Four glared at Zeke and turned so he stood between us raising his eyebrows at me.

"Where can I find cleaning supplies?" I asked.

He looked confused. "What?"

"Where," I repeated very slowly. "Can I find cleaning supplies."

"Have you gone deaf Four?" Eric laughed coming from the store behind me. The second person I never wanted to see again, I could see Zeke still just behind Four.

"What do you need them for?" He asked.

I stared at him eyebrows raised, implying what a stupid question that was. "To clean." I said finally as his group laughed. "The bathroom in the dorm is beyond atrocious."

He glared at me and grabbed my arm pulling me away, a few hallways down he opened a door that must of been a janitors closet and pulled me in. His face changed.

"Clarissa." He said softly.

"What!?" I couldn't help but snap at him.

He seemed taken aback. "Look, I know I wasn't very receiving when you got off the net. I was surprised to see you, that's all."

"I'm seventeen Four," I emphasized his chosen name. I wish I could make it into an insult like he did with Christina. "What did you expect, me to stay?"

"No!" He said horrified. "I just, I always pictured Erudite."

"You were wrong."

"I see that. Dauntless isn't easy. You'll have to work hard." I opened my mouth to interrupt but he continued quickly. "I know you can! Stop glaring at me. But it's not always safe. I can't help you or give special treatment because you're my sister." He looked like he wanted to add something else but hesitated. Finally, "What was your aptitude result?"

I opened my mouth to say something jokingly but paused, he was being serious and looked worried. "Abnegation."

He nodded to himself. "Here's cleaning things. Make sure you return them and try to get some sleep tonight."

"OK." I grabbed a few things and let him close the door behind me, giving me directions to the dorm. "Thanks," I started as he turned away, "Tobias." I added his name softly.

He turned back and smiled. "No going around telling people my name."

"Where'd Four come from?" I asked suddenly. He let out a small laugh and walked away. "Hey!" He just waved as he turned the corner. Sighing I went back to the dorm, and the dreaded bathroom. I got some weird looks but no one complained. By the time I was finished, and had returned the supplies it was late. I showered in a slightly less disgusting shower, dried and dressed quickly. I was alone as everyone else was asleep so I took a moment to look at the mirror, forcing myself to stare and overcome one small aspect of my upbringing.

At 5 foot 7 inches I was tall enough to easily see my waist up. I was definitely not fat, but had little muscle to speak of. My dark brown hair was long, and I noticed it needed a cut. After Tobias transferred I had it cut sporadically by an older woman who lived two houses down. My green eyes stared back at me as I studied my high cheekbones, defined nose and rounded chin. Frowning I turned away telling myself I will stare until it is no longer uncomfortable. I headed towards the dark room, found my bunk and crawled into bed in my new clothes. It felt good being clean, and wearing something that fit. Everyone was already asleep and I joined them easily, exhausted by everything.

A/N: Four and Clair are back on sibling terms... I wasn't sure how to put it in and I don't like what I got but nothing else comes to mind... also, I noticed I didn't say how she looked! We can just pretend abnegation, no mirror bs... right? Not because I forgot...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Bang. Bang. Bang.

I refused to open my eyes, I felt like I just put my head down.

"Everyone up!" Bang!

I opened one eye and saw my brother standing in the same spot as yesterday. He seemed pleased with himself as he hit his metal pipe again.

"Up! Today's your last wake up call! Tomorrow morning you better figure it out yourselves. If you are late for training you miss the day and fall behind. Be in the training room in forty minutes." Bang! He hit it almost casually as he left the room.

Forty minutes. I curled up under the blanket again. Lots of time. I almost drifted back to sleep.

Poke. "Clair." Poke, poke.

"Fukuff" I mumbled wiggling away.

Apparently they anticipated that as someone else poked my other side immediately.

"Clair get up. You need to eat breakfast."

"No food, sleep." I tried drifting to sleep again. So close. "Stop poking!" I snapped after a few more minutes.

"Clair, we all need the energy."

I opened my eyes and glared at the faces standing in front of me. I doubt my sleep crusted eyes were very intimidating. "Come on." Will added

Still glaring I half-heartedly rolled out of bed, my head and arms still buried in the blanket as my feet swung to the ground. I didn't make any more effort to move.

"You slept fully dressed?"

"mmmhhfff." I said into the blanket.

Someone was slipping my feet into my shoes. I bet it's Tris. I looked over, Tris smiled at me. "I never realized you weren't a morning person." She commented.

"My body huuuuuuuurtts," I whined, everything was extremely stiff from yesterday, particularly my skinny little arms. I would change that. I would.

"Let's go! We'll be lucky to make it on time with some muffins."

As I dejectedly followed the others to the cafeteria, I undid my braid I put in after my shower to let my hair dry this morning. We managed to eat bacon and eggs on top of muffins before rushing to the training room. I looked at a clock on the wall; 7:57. We headed to a back wall where everyone was already grouped around Four.

"Knife throwing." He started off the lesson unceremoniously. He showed us a stance, how to balance knives and then did a few demonstrations. He was really good. Like, really good. He looked at ease as he effortlessly hurled the blades towards the targets. "Everyone grab a set of knives and line up behind a target."

I waited for the others to eagerly grab theirs, once I grabbed mine the end target was the only one open. As I stood in front of it I tried to reproduce the stance, and weighted the knives in my hand. I heard a few thumps and saw that others were already throwing. I tried the motion and my arms screamed in protest, so I decided to just stretch them first. By the time I was ready Four stopped the throwing and had everyone go grab the knives, all were on the floor.

"You haven't even thrown one?" I heard from my left, I turned to see Eric glaring at me. "Are the knives too heavy? Perhaps you'd like to start with a shorter distance."

I felt the anger course through my body, he pissed me off for no reason. He just walked in and insulted me. I slowly positioned myself in the stance and pulled back my arm, it very mildly protested this time. I threw the knife and watched pleased as it stuck in the board, I missed the target but it stuck! As I turned to look at Eric smugly I heard the thud as my knife fell. My face also fell just as I looked at him, knowing it didn't stick and he smirked. "You're weak." He threw a glance at the others, "Weaker than almost everyone else. You better figure out how to build muscle, fast." He moved to Edward beside me

I picked up my next knife carefully balancing and trying my position again. This time I hit the target but the knife was parallel to it and had no chance of sticking. By the end of the morning people were starting to get them to stick, with little luck on position. At least I wasn't the only one who sucked.

"The first day is the hardest for throwing." Four said to me. "Once your body remembers the movement it gets easier to aim, the more you do it the more fluid you'll become."

"Oh great. Just what I always wanted to be when I grew up; water." I said to him.

"There's too much mass on you to be just water." I heard Eric say. I turned to him and tried to pull off a flabbergasted face. I think I probably mustered more of a strained looked.

"Stop calling me fat." I stamped my foot for theatrics. Four was right there, I trusted him not to let me get beat up. He was used to covering for my sarcasm.

Eric's eyes narrowed at me, but I had no idea what he was about the say as Four interrupted.

"Stop throwing! Everyone put your knives away its time for lunch!"

I saw Eric turn his anger towards Four and took my opportunity to slip away, picking up my fallen knives and placing them back with the rest. This time the group of us found the cafeteria without following someone. I willingly slipped into a seat sighing in relief as my body relaxed. "I never knew throwing things would hurt so much."

"Yea," Al agreed.

"Have you tried hot turkey before?" Will asked. Tris and I both prodded a sandwich with gravy that he slipped onto our plates. Apparently he liked our reactions, Christina only seemed to enjoy it when Tris coughed violently after eating something green.

"Cabbage." Al said in a voice that clearly meant that reaction was normal. I eyed my serving suspiciously before turning it to the far side of my plate.

"You should eat the veggies. They're healthy." Will said wisely.

"Thanks mom," Tris joked. "But they can't be too healthy if I cough to death."

"Cough to death!" Al snorted. "I don't think that's a thing."

We finished lunch without any more problems and headed back to the training room. We were paired up with the bags again. By the end of the session I was hugging it, leaning into it to hold me up. I wasn't the only one thoroughly exhausted. I watched amused as Eric berated Myra who had sat down. She looked close to tears as he turned away, his eyes narrowed in on me hugging my bag.

He opened his mouth but I spoke before he could. "Yes sir!" I stood and readied to kick the bag.

"What?" He said icily.

"You were gonna tell me to stop being lazy." I said then swung my leg up. As I did he kicked my other foot and I hit the floor hard on my back, my breath knocked from my lungs.

"Get off the ground, initiate." Eric said softly. I saw Tris carefully hit her bag, holding herself back from helping me up I assumed. I painfully stood up. "Kick your bag again."

I turned obediently and swung my leg again, and he kicked my foot exactly like before. Once again I looked up at him from the ground.

"Up." I stood. "Kick your bag."

I crossed my arms. "Not if you're going to put me on the ground again." Probably a mistake to say but falling hurt.

He seemed to consider. "Punch your bag " He said.

Hesitatingly, I turned and once I was in stance I tried to punch. Except, he grabbed my arm, moving his body against mine quickly and with his other hand on my hip he tossed me to the floor. I heard some scattered snickering and a gasp.

"Never assume you know what someone is about to do." He said, before walking away, his point successfully made. Good thing too because being tossed hurt a lot more then falling, I needed a moment to wallow in pity. Tris came over and bent to help me stand up.

"OK?" She questioned quietly, probably afraid of being tossed too.

"Just sore," I tried to smile. "Thanks."

Four was calling that we were done for the day so I let her help me hobble towards the exit.

Four stopped us. "Take a long shower, alternate hot and cold on your back especially. You can buy packs but you probably don't have enough points. It should help loosen your muscles a little."

"Thanks!" Tris said smiling at him. I don't think he realized he smiled back.

"Let's shower first, while the others are eating." I suggested.

Tris simply led the way to the dorm, we grabbed some clean clothes and went to stalls next to each other.

"Thank you, by the way. It's much nicer to shower when its cleaner." She said.

"Of course."

"Show me where you got the supplies. I'll can help." She didn't sound too eager and I couldn't help but laugh

"Don't worry. Cleaning is relaxing for me, and I get anxious when things are dirty. I don't really mind."

"Still, show me. I can help. I know I'm so tired and you were up later last night cleaning."

"If you insist."

We finished showering in silence and once we heard voices in the dorm both of us shut off the water to dry and dress. We walked out as Peter and Drew walked in.

"Maybe next time you can shower with me stiff." Peter leered.

"Or not." I said, disgusted.

"You sure?" Drew sneered at us.

"Yea, you won't get many offers once your factionless." Peter laughed. "You should take me up on it while there's a man around."

Tris peered around the room. "A man! Where?"

I laughed and pulled her away before he could retort. We waved to Al and Will and left to go find food. "I feel much better. Four's idea helped." I said as we sat down.

She nodded. "Me too."

After eating my chicken, I realized I was almost asleep at the table. "I'm going to bed." I stood up. "No no, finish eating." I pushed her shoulder as she made to stand up. She nodded and I left the room alone. I turned down four hallways before I realized I was lost. On the fifth turn I was frusterated and moving way too fast, I hit something hard, and would have bounced back and fallen had his arms not encircled me and pulled me close. My hands instinctively pushed against his chest and I looked up to say sorry but stopped at the annoyed look on Eric's face.

"Watch where you're going." He snapped and turned me out of his way, my back pushed against a wall.

"I'm sorry," I said once again pushing his chest but instead of making him step away the move made him step closer to me, caging me against the wall. Wide eyed I let my hands relax and slide down his chest resting lightly against his hips. I was gripping him as if to shove him away but we both knew I didn't have the strength.

His face moved closer to me and tilted, "Don't let it happen again." He said harshly for some reason he seemed more pissed off then he rightly should be.

I nodded dumbly and a moment later I felt the cold sweep my body as he strode away. I stood there before following his direction once he was out of site. It took longer than I would have liked but I finally found the dorm and without saying anything to anyone I crawled into bed. I was still awake when Tris came in, my encounter with Eric playing in my head. It was one thing to purposely say something to annoy someone, and quote another to bump into them literally by accident and still be the object of anger. Frustrated I focused on the black nothing behind my eye lids. I fell asleep listening to the conversations around me, briefly wondering how I'd wake up in the morning before I fully lost consciousness.

A/N: Alright, a little more Claric action, but I'm gonna let it develop slowly, sorta, i'll try too anyways. R&amp;R constructive criticism welcome! =]


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Clair," Tris was shaking my shoulder. "Get up."

I thought about rolling over and ignoring her but I didn't want to not be woken in the future. "Fine." I said sitting up. I winced as I did, "Seriously, muscles I didn't even know existed hurt."

"They probably didn't exist til recently!" Christina laughed, she was always so loud, and happy. I didn't know people could be so loud and happy.

"I doubt I gained any in two days." I thought about what we had been put through. "Then again..." I climbed down from my bunk, again I slept in full clothes, and put my shoes on. Braiding my hair, I followed the others out the door.

"Who woke up on time?" I asked.

Christina lifted Wills arm showing me a watch. "He had an alarm. Good thing too he woke everyone this morning." She smiled at him.

After breakfast we headed to the training room and saw we were doing the exact same routine as yesterday. Knives, lunch, punching bags, supper, downtime. That evening Tris helped me clean the bathroom some more.

The next day Will woke us all again, and we started the day much the same. After lunch Four changed it up and had us pair off and spar against each other. Eric and he demonstrated a few new techniques and they definitely hit each other harder than necessary. Tris and I had paired up so every time a hit landed we went off into a string of apologies. Eric passed us once but looked disgusted as I pulled her up repeatedly saying sorry and he didn't come near us again. The end of the day left everyone a little sorer from any punches they failed to block, as well as the punches they managed to block. Seemed to be a lose-lose situation as far as I was concerned.

Two days pass uneventfully as we kept up the same schedule. The wasn't much ruckus among the initiates as everyone was exhausted from training so hard. We ate as a group and we went to bed a little earlier each night.

On our fifth day of being in the dauntless compound Four led us to the roof, where he showed us how to use a gun. After naming all the parts, showing us how to load, unload, and use the safety, he stood in front of a target to show us how to shoot. As with knife throwing his aim was really good. Finally, he had us grab a gun and ammo and pick a target. I tried to put myself in the exact stance he had, and lifted the gun to my shoulder like he showed us. I evened out my breathing as I tried to aim. Inhale, exhale, inhale, and partway through my exhale I fired. I was not prepared for the recoil, thankfully I had placed it properly but it threw my aim way off.

I heard Four laugh beside me. I glared at him as I reloaded my gun. "You could have mentioned that!"

"I did, but you can't explain it. It is best to let you feel and figure it out." I just glared as he reasoned with me. "Here," He poked and prodded my arms and legs until he was satisfied with my stance. "Feel that? Now relax. Now try again. No, bend this knee some more, and lift the gun to your face don't lower your face to the gun." He had me relax and fixed it twice more then let me shoot. I still missed the target but the recoil didn't bother me as much, he moved on as I reloaded. With the right position it felt much better, by lunchtime I was hitting the target two out of three tries, the bullets hit sporadically, but at least they hit. Will was teasing Tris about her complete lack of aim. Everyone was at various stages, Peter seemed very pleased with his targets. Unfortunately, his did look to be hitting the best.

After lunch we were back into the training room. We had just finished stretching when we heard Eric call out. "First jumper." He found Tris in the crowd. "In the ring. Last jumper. Let's see how you do in a fight!" Tris and Molly met on the mats.

"How long do we fight for." Molly asked nonchalantly.

"Until one of you can't fight any more." Eric said blandly.

Four stepped up before anyone else could react. "Or until one of you concedes."

Thank god, I thought, just as Eric spoke again. "According to the old rules. The new rules state that no one concedes."

Four muttered something to Eric and I saw the flash of anger as he yelled at Tris and Molly, "Start!"

This wouldn't be good. Molly was bigger and mean. Tris didn't stand a chance. After a few lame punches, Eric egged them on enough to start hitting harder. Tris got the first good hit but Molly must have barely felt it as she punched Tris in the face three times. The first two Tris blocked but the third landed and she stumbled. Molly hesitated just barely but enough for a small opening and Tris rammed into her gut, throwing two punches before Molly kneed her in the head and tossed her down. Three kicks later and Tris wasn't moving. "Enough!" Four called. I rushed into the ring to see if she was alright and felt cold at Eric's next words.

"Stiff, since you're so eager to be in the ring. You fight Drew." I looked up and gaped at him as Four lifted Tris over to a bench, she was already stirring. Drew was muscular, taller than me, and meaner then Molly. He just raised his eyebrows so I turned into the ring as Drew stepped away from Molly whom he had come into the ring to see. He was pleased with the match. I bet I was the only one besides Tris he could beat. Unfortunately, I had no doubt that he would win this. I didn't care how bad I lost I was going to knock that growing smirk off his face. I brought my arms up as Eric called start.

I circled to the side and Drew wasted no time in throwing a punch, hard, at my face. I blocked it but felt my arm tingle. Quickly he threw the exact same punch and I stepped right to avoid it while jabbing his now unprotected face. I hit him right in the jaw. He looks like he barely felt it. Now he charged at me so I tried to step right again and trip him but he pulled me down with him. I landed on top and hit his face three times before he flipped me. I pushed both legs between us and kicked his gut but as they flattened he came back and started punching. I kept trying to block but he got past my arms and hit my face so I reached out and jabbed his throat. He coughed and reeled backed as I rolled and staggered to my feet. I tried to kick him once but missed as he stood up as well, my vision was already blurry. We charged at the same time but since I was shorter I was able to ram his stomach and punched him as hard as I could three times before he pulled my arm back. His knee connected with my ribs and he let my arm go as he kicked my leg and I fell. I was dizzy and tried to roll away but I rolled towards him and he kicked my ribs. Then he kicked my face. I was still conscious when I heard Four call out to stop. I tried to look at him but my head was ringing so instead I focused on not throwing up.

"She's still conscious." Eric said.

Four sounded angry as he replied. "But in no condition to fight, she can't move. I think that falls under the new rules." I felt someone lift my shoulders and I threw up, which hurt my ribs more than it should have. I felt myself being lifted and then placed on something else. I didn't hear what else was said because my head continued to spin, but I could feel that I was moving. When I managed to open my eyes I saw Eric talking to a woman and we were in a different room, but the lights were bright so I shut them again.

"Some people have a higher tolerance... If she's used to the pain her mind won't black out like someone else, that becomes dangerous in a fight."

"How long til she's up?" That voice was Eric. Where was I? I groaned as someone felt up my poor ribs.

"Well, they aren't broken so if she doesn't have a concussion she'll be released tonight." I didn't hear the rest of the conversation as they moved away. I guess I was in a med ward? It makes sense dauntless would have one. I can't believe I'm the first one here.

"Can you drink this?" The woman asked. I opened my mouth as she put something to my lips and tried to swallow, instantly I felt a cooling sensation in my head. "Pain killer." She smiled. "I'm going to check your ribs again alright? Just lie still."

Her hands moved across my skin pressing down but I clenched my jaw to stop from moving. "Good, I think they're just bruised." She ran a wet cloth across my face and I saw the blood come off. "And I don't think anything needs to be stitched. Any other pains? No? OK just lie there for a bit ill check on you to see how your heads doing."

I must have fallen asleep because soon she was shaking me into wakefulness. "There she is!" The woman said. "Can you stand up?"

Slowly she helped me sit up. I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and cautiously stood. When the world didn't lurch I took a tentative step. I was sore, but I felt mostly alright.

"Good, good. Take it easy on your ribs and try to avoid hits to the head since it's still tender. But your good to go."

I thanked her and turned to leave just as the door opened and Eric wheeled Al in on a moving bed. "We can't wake him up," He said. The woman quickly took over and Eric helped her shift him on to a bed. I watched her take his pulse and mutter to herself, Eric noticed me standing. "This one's ok?" He asked her. 'This one' like I wasn't even a person.

"Good to go," She said distractedly.

He gestured to me to follow but I stayed where I was. "I want to make sure he's ok."

Eric grunted irritated at my delay, "You can come with me or I can hit you over the head and you can stay here with him."

I almost refused again but I had a feeling he was serious. He'd probably enjoy knocking me out. I looked at Al before slowly walking towards the door, I heard him behind me once I was in the hallway.

"Move faster." He growled pushing on my shoulder. I stumbled and stopped as my vision blurred a bit.

"I'm trying." I gasped as I steadied myself with a hand on the wall. I continued forward as he walked past me, I don't think I went faster but he didn't snap at me again. I followed him down the halls and I think he slowed his pace so I could keep up but I'm pretty sure he'd threaten to hit me again if I mentioned it. Or maybe just hit me with no warning. Something I should be used to I guess, though I was still optimistic that I had moved into the right faction. He led me to the training room. Everyone looked a little worse for wear as they sat in a group in front of Four. I sat beside Christina since she was right in the back and Four continued what he was saying without pause, Eric now standing beside him.

"-and since you were able to watch the others fight you may have seen their different techniques." We sat there for the next half hour while he explained that we needed to figure out our advantages. He gave a few different ideas and told us to watch for other people's weaknesses. "We're done for today. Tomorrow morning be up on the roof by eight." Everyone stood up and headed out the door but I stayed sitting, I wasn't sure I could stand from the floor. I saw Tris look over but she stopped coming over when Four stood in front of me. He reached down and I grasped his hands letting him pull me up. "You're ok?" He asked concerned.

I smiled. "Fit as a fiddle." I assured him. Before he could say anything else Eric was impatiently calling him over to a table. With a last look at him I followed the others out the door towards the dining hall, they were already down the hallway when I exited the training room. It took a long time as I shuffled slowly, and by the time I got there the table my friends were at was full. I was about to turn around when someone slipped their arm over my shoulder. "Am I ever gonna learn your name?" I twisted to look at Zeke as he started walking me towards a table. I was too tired and sore to protest but I shrugged his arm off.

"I don't know," I replied just as teasingly as I sat in the seat he pushed me towards. "I kinda like being called beautiful."

He laughed sitting beside me. "Yea, well Four told me to lay off."

"But he didn't give you my name?"

He shrugged. "He's a little weird."

I laughed and a girl sat across from me. "What happened to your face?"

I was suddenly self-conscious having not showered or even seen myself yet. "Training." I tried to say casually. I guess the amazing pain-killer I got was still affecting me as I could barely feel whatever she was seeing.

"And Eric says I will scare the initiates. He has them trying to kill each other."

"I wasn't trying to kill anyone!" I protested after I swallowed some food. "I'm Clair." I directed towards the woman across from me, but answering Zeke's question.

"Shauna," She replied. A few others filled the table around us and I ate the rest of my meal slowly, my jaw aching after each bite.

"Do all the initiates look like that?" A guy sitting next to Shauna asked me.

"Why does everyone keep commenting on my face!" I complained.

He grinned at me, "I hope the other guy looks worse."

I hung my head, but then almost squealed in delight as Shauna put her cake on my plate.

"I think you need that more than me." She laughed. "Besides, my shift starts soon."

I thanked her profusely as she got up laughing and walked away. "I'll get beat up more often if it means cake!" I said. I heard them laugh as someone sat in Shauna's vacated seat.

"Cake is very fattening, not at all flattering to gain weight so quickly. " I glared up at Eric as he laughed at me. Still staring at him I purposefully took another bite.

"Eric," They guy beside him said mockingly. "You can't call a girl fat." He leaned in to stage whisper, "They don't like that."

I just sighed and took another bite. I finished my cake, and learnt the guy's name was Levi. He seemed to be the only person Eric actively liked, if I was to judge by the ease they held a conversation. He was funny, and wasn't afraid to step on someone's shoes to get a laugh. Sadly, he seemed to think I was a good target.

"If your quite finished insulting me," I said standing. "I have things to do. Shower for one, as you've repeatedly reminded me what awful shape my face is in." He waved me away with a last smile already deep in conversation with someone else.

I headed towards the dorm and was surprised to find it empty. Without complaint I showered, taking my time, and let myself relax. The pain medicine I was given must have starting wearing off after a few hours because everything was starting to hurt a lot more. By the time I was dressed I didn't think I'd be able to fall asleep despite being exhausted, if I could even climb up into my bunk. I made the decision to find the med ward again and see if I could get more pain relief.

I was very lost before I admitted it was a stupid plan, I really had no idea where it was. "They need to put up signs." I muttered.

"Why?"

I jumped and spun around, which didn't help my pain, and looked at Eric surprised.

"Why are you the one I keep running into?" I demanded, too sore and tired to care he might get mad.

"Because I have terrible luck." He said dryly. "And possibly because Four and I stay near to the initiates dormitory. Where are you going?"

"I'm trying to find the lady with the pain relief drink."

"Have you tried asking the nurse?" He asked like I was retarded.

"I don't know where she is. Or where I am." I admitted.

"I can see that."

I couldn't think of anything else to say so I stayed quiet. He watched me for a moment before grabbing my arm and directing me down the hallway I just came from. I didn't even try to pull away, wearily I let him lead me through the compound. We reached the same room as earlier and once inside I saw that the woman was the only one there, Al must have been released, that's good at least.

"You again! What happened?"

"I found her wandering the halls, disoriented."

"I'm not disoriented, " I murmured sitting down on the closest bed.

"Sure, sure," The woman said softly before rummaging in some counters in the back. I didn't even remember Eric was there until his hand steadied my shoulder, I blushed as I realized I had been about to fall over asleep. He kept his hand on me as she returned with a cup. "Drink this,"

I swallowed the whole thing and once again my head immediately cleared. The pain started to ebb away and I was left feeling even more exhausted, if possible.

"Make sure she gets to bed, otherwise she might sleep on the floor and that would make her worse."

What did that mean? Why would I sleep on a floor? I was on a bed. A soft bed. Why is someone tugging my arm.

"You need to be in your dorm, or you'll miss training tomorrow."

I looked at him without really seeing. Training? What's so important about tomorrow? There's a bed right here.

I tried to lie down on the bed but he was pulling me away. I think I moaned at being forced to walk. Suddenly I was flipped sideways and it took me a second to become aware that I was being carried. That was nice, my legs weren't really working anyways. I'm not sure who carried me but I could think about that later, right now I was able to fall asleep. I pushed my face into the warmth, my hand clutching the shirt against my eyes to block the light, as I happily passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The next morning, I woke up to the quiet beeping of Wills watch. I laid silently, comfortably, in bed and tried to remember how I got there. I thought I went to get pain relief, and I think I got lost. Did Eric help me find it? That didn't sound like something he'd do, so why is he coming to mind? Maybe I just returned here and passed out, I was so tired, the people all around me had been making sleep scarce. As someone turned the light on I crawled off my bunk and sat beside Tris to tie my shoes.

"You're awake!" She said surprised.

"Thanks for the confidence. " I laughed. "I actually feel good."

"Well, you were passed out after we got back finding Al and taking him to eat. Even Peter and Drew making noise purposely didn't wake you up." That should have made me happy but I felt uncomfortable knowing they were around me while I was out of it. "You face is… less swollen then yesterday." I winced, I had been avoiding the mirror still despite my personal promise to myself to overcome that particular habit.

I finished getting ready and quietly waited for the others, who didn't sleep in full clothes, perhaps I should consider that as well. I led the way to the cafeteria and filled my plate as they sat around me. I was absolutely starving. Apparently they were used to my large quantities of food as they didn't say anything about it, I appreciated it since I hated small talk.

After eating we climbed up to the roof and spent the morning shooting guns. By lunchtime I could consistently hit the target but had no hope in getting groupings. I wasn't the worst but I was nowhere near as good as Peter and that irked me. He was a jerk he was supposed to fail. As I returned my gun and fell in step with Al I noticed Eric frowning at us. I scrambled to think if we had done something wrong but he made no move to stop us so I continued to lunch, still pondering why.

After lunch we were back in the training room. Four told us we'd have fights every other day. At least we had a small window to try and heal. I spent my afternoon doing stretches, weights and running laps. I didn't want to aggravate my ribs or head by taking any hits. Near the end of the day I found a punching bag to practice against. By the time Four called time for supper I was exhausted. I grouped up with my friends and headed for food. While eating we let Christina talk us into going to the tattoo parlor, to celebrate our first week being dauntless.

"I want a tattoo!" She said eagerly as we followed her through the pit. "Something to make it more official. We are here now!"

I laughed at her excitement. "You've said,"

"What are you getting?" She asked.

I shrugged, the others tossing ideas around. Once there we all parted and I casually browsed the displays, nothing really catching my eye.

I turned as a back door opened, "Seriously?" I mumbled under my breath as, of course, Eric walked out.

He frowned at me. "I would tell you to stop following me but your hard to miss and get lost so often you'd be a terrible stalker."

I put down the floral pattern I had been studying. "Stop," I turned to face him. "Calling me fat. I spent my childhood giving my food away. How could I possibly be fat?"

"Why did you waste so much time on factionless?" He asked in disdain, I could easily see he did not think highly of them.

"Don't change the subject. I want you to agree to stop calling me fat."

He blatantly studied my figure again. "Why do you care if you don't believe me."

"And stop looking at me!" I hissed quietly, blushing. Why the fuck was I always blushing around him. Zeke flirted openly and I didn't even blush.

He took a step closer, amused. "Why?"

I spluttered before answering, "What do you mean why? It's rude!"

"In abnegation maybe, in dauntless most woman take it as a compliment."

I opened my mouth to say I was raised abnegation then snapped it shut. That is a trap I'm not walking into. "Well I'm not like most woman, I won't just fall into your bed because you looked at me."

He looked even more amused, he was enjoying making me uncomfortable. "You think most woman will do what I want with just a look?" He asked softly obviously amused, coming closer still.

He was too close and was purposely confusing me and directing the conversation in a place I didn't want it to go. "I'm too tired for this." I said bluntly.

He looked surprised at my change of topic, then recovered himself. "I know a way to make you tired." He was right in front of me now and my jaw dropped. He did not just imply what I think he did.

I had to escape or change the topic and since I doubted I could explain to Christina why I left I went for the latter.

"Oh? Planning on having someone bigger and stronger beat me up again?" Instantly his face changed to anger and I realized I probably made a mistake, though I have no idea why.

"Maybe if you weren't so fucking weak you'd stand a chance." He said aggressively before shoving past me and out of the parlor.

I'm not sure why but I was hurt at being called weak by him. I knew I was weak. What did I care if he called me on it? He was a jerk; my brother obviously didn't like him that should have been my first hint. I went to the front and found a stylist who had a moment to do a tattoo for me, I wanted it right under my bra line wrapping around my ribs, cursive writing on my left side. _Sometimes you have to allow yourself to be weak, in order to grow stronger._ I was dauntless now. I could do better. I would do better. I was going to pass initiation even if it killed me.

Once it was finished I found the others waiting just outside the parlor for me. I wanted to find a watch, with their help we found a store with assorted goods tucked into a corner. I let Christina pick it out since she wasn't getting one and I didn't care. It was a little more delicate then I'd like but it would suffice.

We made our way back to the dorm and after showering I climbed into my bunk. Setting the watch, I stuck it under my pillow so it wouldn't wake the others, and let myself fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning the muffled beeping woke me up, I quickly shut it off and laid there for a moment, before shuffling out of my bed. Moving around in the darkened room I found a shirt and changed into some pants, it was significantly more comfortable to sleep in shorts and sports bra. I picked up my shoes and put them on in the hallway before heading to the training room. I used the hour I had, having woken up early, to practice before breakfast. I might be improving but so was everyone else, I had to put in more time than them.

We had fights all day. I lost to Will but he didn't beat me up too badly just knocked me out. I was grateful as much as I knew losing was hurting my chances. Eric and Four alternated taking those who didn't wake up to the nurse. Just before dinner, while Four was out of the room, Christina was up against Peter. I knew they never really got along in Candor and continued to not get along here.

The fight was bad, Peter showed no mercy. Christina tried but should just couldn't hit him quickly enough, or hard enough for the few she did make. She was on the ground after a solid kick from Peter; she backed away as much as she could and cried out for him to stop.

"I'm done," She continued.

Peter smiles savagely, his ego is going to be way too big after this. She was bloody as she tried to stand and wipe her hands on her pants. Eric moved forward and a quick glance at Tris confirmed that this did not look good.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" You're done?" He asked her quietly, almost like he was concerned.

Christina is now standing in front of him and doesn't know what to say. So far he had made us run laps until we basically passed out when the group groaned about more fights, and this morning he had Drew and Al team up against Edward when Edward tried to protect Myra from Molly. Edward lost of course, he didn't stand a chance between the two, but he fought well and I'm sure he will make it to the top despite his loss. Christina knew, as the others and I knew, the he was not just going to let this go.

"Apparently you all seem to think that we are not serious here." Eric continued looking around at us, as we all silently stared back. "You need to understand that here in dauntless, you follow orders, you do as you're told, and you never back down from a fight." He looked around again before grabbing Christina's arm and pulling out towards the door. "Follow me," He said over his shoulder as they head out.

I stay close to Tris, I do not like this situation at all, and she looks just as unnerved. After a few minutes I know where we are going and my stomach drops even more when it is confirmed. Eric stands near the railing of the chasm and finally lets go of Christina's arm. There isn't anyone else around and I feel like even my brother would not stop Eric were he here. Eric is a leader. I have seen some people look at him in fear and some people look at him with what I thought to be respect, I couldn't imagine what he has done to earn the respect of people so much older than him. Then again, he was made leader very young, he must have done quite a bit to get there.

Currently Christina stares at him with wide eyes as he tells her to climb over the railing, the only thing that protects us from falling to our death into the raging waters.

"If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, prove that you are not as weak as you just showed yourself to be, I will forget your moment of cowardice. If you cannot, by refusal or failure to do so, you will either be factionless or dead. Your choice." Then he steps back and stands so casually; as if he tells people to do something that could kill them all the time. Maybe he does. Outside of training we have no idea what he does.

"Fine," Christina says as she moves toward the wet raining. She climbs over fairly easily, she is taller than me and holds on to the bars tightly for a moment as she stands on the other side. She wipes her hands off on her pants again, I can see there is still some blood on her knuckles, then grips the bars tightly and steps of the ledge.

I can barely breathe. Everything in me is screaming to help her, but Eric is right there watching us. He does not even care to look at the girl he made to hang over death. I can't help myself, my entire life helping others was beat into me. I step forward, half a foot in front of Tris and Al now. "Christina," I say. It is all that I can get out but it is enough.

"Come on, Christina," Al says behind me. I glance back and see Tris staring intensely at his watch. I look and can see the digits counting down, it is at 3:29, 3:28, 3:27- Cristina cries out and I whip my head to look at her instead, one of her hands have slipped.

"Grab it!" Al continues his encouragement, "You can do it."

After what feels like eternity I manage to speak again. "You've got this Christina, just hold on."

Al is still shouting to her, and now I hear Tris join in, and then Will. "One-minute left," Tris chimes. I look back at Al's watch. 0:56. I continue to watch it count down, it is almost over, and then I hear a shriek from Tris and look over again. Christina isn't there I lunge forward and see her hanging down lower, she must have slipped when I wasn't looking, I almost reach out to her but Eric has grabbed my arm and pulled me away.

"Five minutes are up!" I hear Al from behind me. Eric takes his time looking at his watch and finally agrees.

"You can come up Christina," He says. As if she could climb up after a beating and hanging over like that. But he hasn't let go of my arm and I am afraid to speak up.

Thankfully Al does, "No, she did what you said, she's not a coward. She did it." Eric doesn't say anything in reply but lets go of my arm as Al starts pulling Christina up. I can't move, I should have fought harder for her but I couldn't. Tris helps Al pull her over and Christina falls to the ground shaking. Physical exhaustion, mental exhaustion. But she is alive, she did it, and as I look at the group I see that none of us will make that mistake again. Eric tells us it is time for dinner before walking away. And that's that.

I woke up early for the next week, and even went back to the training room after supper. By the time I made it back to the dorm everyone else had showered so the timing worked out perfectly. By the third morning Tris had woken up with me and followed me out. She said I had woken her up and there was no point trying to sleep but I knew she needed as much practice as I did. And she had been having nightmares she Christina hung over the chasm. I didn't say anything about it but it was nice not to be alone, occasionally other people came in but that early everyone kept to themselves. Tris was a good sparring partner, too. We were into the third week of initiation before I had another encounter with Eric. During the day I felt like he was avoiding me, which was absurd. Tris had taken I run so I was alone using a bag.

"Keep your core tight." He said as his hand landed on my stomach. I was extremely proud of myself for not screaming as he snuck up on me and touched my bare skin since I had taken to just wearing the sports bra. Most dauntless woman trained like that and I decided that if I wanted to become one I should dress more like one. The room was dark any ways, not like anyone could see much. Except the person who was now entirely too close.

"Fine," I said tersely, suddenly regretting not taking the run with her.

I'm pretty sure I felt him smirk as he was close enough make me uncomfortable but not close enough to impair my motions as I practiced. Taking that as my hint I started up punching again, slowly, half afraid he'd would knock me off my feet again. I was very surprised that he did nothing more than give me helpful tips for the next half hour. Repositioning me for different punches and jabs and kicks, so each one would be able to give the best force rather than just a generic stance.

"The only difference is you'll be more unbalanced until you pull back, so while your punch might do more harm, if you miss and they hit you, chances are you'll be knocked on your ass."

I nodded, trying to ignore the heat from his hands as they lefts my shoulders and slid down my arms. "Twist," He said, "Here, as you move in. Your small and quick but it will take three hits for you to do the same damage your friend Al could do in one. You need to focus on getting those hits in before your opponent can do one."

I shifted a little so I could look at him. He seemed more relaxed in this setting, obviously fighting was his thing, he was comfortable. He didn't feel the need to project himself as authoritatively as he did while we were doing something else or among a larger group. Maybe that's why I felt at ease enough to ask; "Small and quick, are you finally admitting I'm not fat?"

His hands left my arms to trail across my abdomen and sides. "Now that you aren't wearing too large clothes," He started lowly, his voice laced with something I couldn't name. "I can see perfectly fine. You're small, toned even" I shivered, was he closer to me? "Your extra sessions are paying off."

I roused myself enough to try and lean away a little, despite the fact the that I was enjoying the heat of his presence. "How do you know about them?"

He was now facing me and I had to tilt my head just slightly to fully see his face. "You're in a public training room. You're not the only one to use it in the morning, or evenings."

"I've never seen you." Maybe if I kept talking he'd drop his arms, and I could leave. I haven't been touched this much since... I couldn't help myself as I jerked away trying to redirect my train of thought, my back hit the bag and anger flashed in his face as he too stepped away, before his detached expression returned.

I almost sighed in relief, no more touching. "You aren't very smart; most people try to stay aware of their surroundings. I've been here regularly. Even the other stiff noticed." He insulted me. 'The other stiff.' He still thought of me as a little abnegation girl, I could come first in rankings and he probably wouldn't change his mind.

I bent to grab my shirt, pulling it on quickly suddenly very self-conscious. "Sorry," I muttered as I darted around him. I'm not sure what I apologized for, but I can admit, to myself at least, that I was fleeing. Without looking back, I rushed through the training room doors towards the cafeteria. I got there earlier than usual, so just focused on eating everything around me. My body had finally caught up to the larger portions and I thought it was ironic for him to admit I wasn't fat now that I actually was bigger. I poked my thigh and decided most was muscle, but my clothes all had gotten much tighter. I filled my plate generously and was halfway through when the others joined me.

"Christina? " I said once she was settled.

"What," She mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.

"Would you like to go browse for clothes after supper?" I smiled as she instantly perked up.

"Yes! That would be amazing," She grinned at me.

"I'm just noticing I've put on some weight," I ignored the muttered 'really' as Will pointedly stared at my plate. "I need larger sizes."

"Awesome!" She then went off on all the things she wanted. I tried to pay attention but it just really wasn't as interesting to me. Thankfully she was just happy to be on the subject. I felt bad but I just couldn't muster the same energy that she could.

When we reached the training room we looked to the board to see the day's fights. I was paired with Peter. I sighed dramatically. "Maybe we won't make it shopping tonight." I told Christina, placing a hand on my forehead as if I might faint. "Looks like I get the spend the evening with beloved Susan." The main medic in dauntless was the lady I first met, Susan. After three weeks everyone had seen her a time or two, or six.

They laughed, but it was uncomfortable. Peter had recently shown a viciousness, unrelenting in his attacks no matter how weak his opponent was. I was pretty sure Edward was the only one who could beat him. Al might stand a chance with his size but the poor guy hated fights. As we got closer I saw Tris talking with Peter while Drew and Molly laughed beside him.

His eyes locked on me gleefully. "There's the other one!" He shouted.

Tris looked furious. "What?" I snapped suddenly defensive seeing the look on her face.

"Is it true?!" He demanded.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, you moron."

"Did your father beat you? Is that why you defected? " He laughed loudly, irritatingly.

I impressed myself for the second time that day by not reacting as I instinctively wanted to. "Where the hell is that garbage coming from?" I asked, merely clenching my jaw rather than trembling and fleeing at our conversation topic.

"Apparently Erudite thinks that Abnegation beat their children!" Tris said in a very high pitched voice. "And hides warehouses full of food and supplies."

Oh, I thought, I had heard that Erudite was mad at us- Them, I'm Dauntless now.

"Well it's true, we've known that for years!" Drew said.

"Abnegation does not horde supplies!" I snapped. "Even part of our portions would sometimes go to the factionless! Our sector was so close I always had something on hand to help out when I walked by."

"But you don't deny your father beating you, that's why you left." Peter interrupted wickedly.

My jaw dropped. "No, you're right of course." He smiled triumphantly before I continued. "Obviously the only reason someone would transfer is because of a bad home life. I bet it was your mom, who beat you." I ignored his stunned look and turned to Drew. "But you, must of been your father. I can see it in the way you go crawling to Peter for approval, you crave a man's touch. Peter seems very" I paused for affect as I looked them both up and down. "Obliged to do so." I held myself from snarling and satisfied myself with the implied insult. How dare they try to hurt me, or ruin Abnegation.

Drew spluttered but it was Peters turn to be angry, as the others laughed at him. Even Molly let a smile slide onto her face before composing herself. Before he could get too close to me a voice stopped him.

"That's enough!" Four was very tense. "You are all Dauntless. How many fucking times do we have to tell you? Enough with your previous factions. The next person who brings it up won't have a faction." That stopped everyone. It was the first time he had threatened us with being factionless. Eric did, daily, but never him. I think it might have made it a little more real for everyone. I knew he was mad at the topic, but still. I needed to fight harder, I wouldn't become factionless. Suddenly I felt much better about my fight, Peter would make a good target as I had no qualms about hitting him.

"First fight," Eric shouted out already standing by the mats.

Will and Christina took position. It was a pathetic fight, Will didn't want to hurt her but at the reminder of being factionless he didn't want to lose. Finally, way too long if Eric's face was anything to go by, a solid hit to the temple knocked her out. Will carefully lifted her off to the sides. She had until the next fight was over to regain herself and continue the days training otherwise she would be sent to see Susan. No one wanted to lose training time, that meant losing points in ranking.

"Edward, Al!"

The next two stepped up. After Edward beat Al, Molly beat Myra and Tris lost to Drew. The fights had taken much longer than normal it was almost lunch time and only Peter and I were left. "Last fight!" Four called.

I stepped into the ring, just looking at him had my anger rising. At him, and at the emotions he had brought up, I never wanted to think about that. Remembering Eric's words from this morning I moved quickly, stepping forward I punched him twice before moving out of reach. He blocked both and followed me as I tried to circle behind him. I kicked out my foot to trip him but he stayed on his feet, and lunged in to punch my gut. By the time I had got four good hits in he had hit my ribs just as many times. I was protecting my face so his strategy was to aim lower. It would take longer, and be painful, but he was strong enough for it. I had to make the hits to his face otherwise they barely made an impact. I let my guard down just slightly and as expected he lunged in to hit, I easily sidestepped the expected punch and threw my power into his now unprotected face. Blood splattered out his nose and he head butted me, successfully getting me to the ground. I tried to roll him off, punch his face, ribs legs anything and everything. I kept his hits mostly to my ribs but he took advantage of my lack of defense to hit my face. There was a lot of blood so I wiped some of it on his face, and eyes. He reeled back to get it out and got him off me and managed to stand quickly. As he staggered to his feet I kicked hard and quick to his ribs, collarbone and face, he protected the latter but it was enough to knock him over again.

I moved in planning to keep kicking as I had the advantage of being standing but he quickly took that away, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down. I hit the floor hard and gasped as my breath left me, barely seeing his oncoming fist, finally with enough force to knock me out. I woke up a few minutes later to Four wiping my face with a cloth, I saw Eric washing blood off the mats, but everyone else was gone. I tried to frown but it hurt. "You're gonna have a nasty black eye but you woke quickly enough, no permanent damage."

I moaned in reply. He grimaced, and continued to clean my face. "How do your ribs feel?"

I groaned again. "Clair." I opened my eyes, he looked very concerned.

"Sore, Peter?" Please tell me I damaged him a little.

Four smirked. "He went to shower, he had much more blood on him the you did. If you hadn't fought back so aggressively his plan would have worked. As it is most of your damage is your ribs and arms and his is his face. I don't think he expected that. Though what he expected after egging you on like that beats me."

He helped me stand and I sagged into him. Peter must have got my right leg at some point my shin was throbbing.

"If you can't walk to the dining hall you may as well go to the medics ward." Eric said walking towards the door. I saw that he looked annoyed as he walked by us. Using Fours arms as support I tried to stand on my own. It hurt but I managed. He walked with me the whole way, stopping and letting me lean on his shoulder twice before we made it. He helped my sit beside Will once we reached their table and surprised me by sitting next to me. He just shrugged as I looked at him, starting to fill his plate. The others all winced and asked how sore I was, and congratulated me on bloodying up Peter. I let Tris fill my plate since I couldn't reach everything and listened to Will as he told me to eat my vegetables. It was actually nice, and I felt my brother next to me and was reassured the whole meal. We had had two real conversations since I arrived and just sitting with him was pleasant.

Once we finished eating I felt well enough to, slowly, walk by myself to the training room. The others let me set the pace and I felt a surge of gratitude. I liked having friends.

Once there we moved to the back wall where Knives had been set out. Without waiting for orders we grabbed a set and picked a target. Every throw hurt so I took my time aiming to try and limit the pain. By the time supper rolled around I was only gathering my knives every other round. Four called for us to clean up but Eric's voice stopped me.

"Since you took so long throwing each set, you can stay late, to catch up. You're a good ten rounds behind the others." He was behind me, I turned to face him and saw Four coming over to argue. "Four," Eric was in no mood to hear it from him. "You better make sure the others get to supper on time, I have a feeling if left alone they might try fighting in the halls."

He was right of course, Tris was still mad about earlier, and so were the others. Four looked about ready to argue any ways but stopped at a glare from Eric. "Now." It was an order. You couldn't just ignore an order from a Dauntless leader. The look Four gave as he left, left no questions to how he felt about Eric, but I just tried to smile reassuringly as I turned to start throwing. Any other day I would be happy to continue, I actually liked knives, but everything just hurt so much.

The first two hit the board but the third was hilt first and fell to the ground. I heard him grunt as the knife fell. "Go get them, you can do better than that." I walked forward and picked them up but the disdainful look on his face as I moved back into place had my anger rising again. It had been simmering all afternoon but he knew I was sore; he was doing this for some sick sadistic reason.

So I stood defiantly in front him. "I can do better. I'm one of the best at throwing them." I growled at him.

He looked at me mercilessly, "Then stop standing there and do it. One round, all of them in the center ring, and you can go to dinner."

I looked at the target but hesitated. I wouldn't be able to do that right now. "I can't."

"What's a matter?" He mocked. "I thought you said you were good."

"I am good and you know it!" I yelled in frustration. "You're being unreasonable!"

"You said your good. Hit the fucking target."

"No."

I could literally feel the anger flowing off him in waves as he advanced towards me. Just before he was about to say something I heard someone call him name. He stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. "Eric," The voice said urgently. "Control room. Now."

"We're done here." He said. Saved by the bell apparently. I tried to rush by him but was jerked back painfully as he yanked my arm, my back fell into his chest as I was pulled off-balance, his anger must have turned into heat it felt like he was burning me. "Don't ever say no to me again." He snarled into my ear dangerously. I didn't even look at him once he released my arm, just ran for the door basically throwing my knives onto the table. I fled from him for the second time that day. So much for the bravery of Dauntless.

**A/N: I've been trying to figure out how to put it in the story but nope! So I just want to add Clair and Four are keeping distance and not announcing being siblings due to favoritism, Marcus ect ect also, one of the things I may have made ooc for Eric is that he cares about the faction, the direction its going in and while obviously thinks himself better and more important even cares about the people a little. (Which I'll have Four bring up in a later chapter...) which is why you'll see him working with the initiates more often. It's kinda the main point that changes my stories outcome at the end of training. Besides my OC.**

**I'm not awfully happy with this chapter but it'll do. I feel like I am making everything happen so fast but it is hard to rewrite a book and make it interesting when the basic plot is the same. Again, anything you recognize, and maybe even things you don't, belong to Veronica Roth. Thanks for reading, I will update a new chapter as soon as possible!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**A/N: So I find that I am jumping around a bit from the events in the book, I hope this isn't frustrating for those reading! I will try to keep the main ones in, changed a little bit perhaps, even if I can't keep the timeline. I have extended initiation; I am thinking to about three months as opposed to three weeks. Visiting day will occur after stage one still but that will be four weeks not one and a half. I just can't believe that a week of training is feasible. Personal preference. Anyway, enjoy!**

I ate supper alone since the table the others sat at was full when I got there. I did not mind. I was not good at being friends. I liked Tris, her and I got along well, shared the same views on a lot of things. Which made sense of course, the two of us being smaller and raised with the same values. Christina was easy to be friends with, she did most of the work. Will and Al were just as easy to be friends with, since Christina did the work there too, whenever we spent time as a group I could hang back silently or if I felt up to it I could participate. I didn't feel pressured and that was nice. But being alone was good. I knew that by the end of initiation we may not all make it into the faction. Worse, if I wanted to be in I would have to be better, which meant I would possibly be knocking them out. Much easier to keep to myself.

I watched as Peter and his friends talked quietly amongst themselves. That could not be good, so far he had been ruthless in his attempts to make it to the top. I ate fast and rushed back to the dorm for a shower. The others looked to be taking their time with food so I took the time to shower earlier then I have been. By the time I was dressed they started coming in.

"Clair," Tris said coming over. "How was it, Eric wasn't too bad was he?"

"Yeah! He was pissed off today he almost took off my head when he tried to show me why my aim was going wide!" Christina added, "Literally, he grabbed the dagger so fast that I'm pretty sure if I hadn't ducked he would have."

I smiled a little, "It was fine." I assured them. "He was called away immediately."

"Called away?" Will asked as they started gathering clothes to shower.

"Dunno what or why but he let me leave right away." I said as I finished my braid. "I'm going for a run and then maybe we could go get some new clothes?" Christina nodded at me already heading off towards the showers. "See you in a bit." And then I headed out the door.

I tried a few small stretches as I walked towards to training room, there was a track along the edge that we used when we weren't with outside with Four or Eric, since we couldn't go outside alone. Everything ached but I refused to waste my evening and not do at least some laps or something. If I started slacking I would lose motivation, and I was not going to be the last ranked initiate. I would do well; I would be dauntless. I kept thinking that as I ran for a bit, walked for a bit, and ran some more. I am not sure how long I ran but I was having trouble breathing when I decided to stop. My ribs hurt more than I anticipated. When I got back Christina was all ready to go. Tris was looking at her clothes very intently.

"How have I gained this much already?" She asked holding up two pairs of pants. "They don't fit, at all."

"Me neither, I like to wear pants when I can and these loose shorts are basically all I can get on." I said gesturing to what I was wearing.

"Well," Christina stood up and twirled. "I should get you two some dresses. They fit no matter how much you put on." Her dress was black and form fitting, long sleeves but a bit lower cut then I would like. Even now as I purposely step out of my comfort zone and wear different things.

We head to the pit and again let Christina make most of the decisions. She didn't try something as outrageous as I put on for her last time but she did get Tris and I each a dress like she said. Tris' is plain black as well, "It shows off your tattoos!" Christina had been so happy to find one that did as well as covered enough for Tris to be happy. Mine was black lace that covered a deep red slip that was attached. The lace came up to my neck and down to my knees but left my arms bare. The red slip covered my chest down to my butt. By itself I would not even consider it but the lace was thick and beautiful. Growing up in Abnegation I had never thought I would wear something so detailed, pretty and feminine and could not help but be almost as excited as my friends.

We also got some other basic clothes that would fit us. I chatted happily with them as we headed back towards the dorm. I was slowly getting used to company, to friends. I only hoped we all made it through initiation. As we stepped into the room I glanced around and then ignored the frown I got from Peter and Drew as they sat in the corner, probably conspiring. Peter did beat me in our match but I put up more of a fight then he would have liked I am sure. I do not want to know what they are planning, though I'm feel as though I will find out.

It was getting late so I took off my shirt in anticipation of climbing into bed. Tris still slept in a shirt and shorts longer than the ones I wore. Christina dressed similarly to my shorts and sports bra by wearing just a shirt. Molly and Mrya changed it up but were not afraid to be seen either. The longer we were here the more I saw how revealing some dauntless women, and men, actually dressed. I wanted to fit in, to be a part of this faction as much as I could. Silently I climbed up into my bunk, everyone else was doing the same, perfect timing as the lights automatically went out. Lights out was 11pm and they came on at 7am, although there was a switch if we ever needed. In the dark I wrapped my blanket around myself and curled up, falling asleep almost immediately.

I awoke to a clatter and hushed voices not more than a couple hours later. I held still wondering what was going on staring intently into the dark not wanting to turn towards the door until I knew what was happening. My nerves buzzed, we had not been woken in the middle of the night for any reason before. Suddenly the lights turned on. There was… something… in front of me. On my bed. Less than an inch from my face. I shrieked and flailed backwards as fast and hard as I could manage, tossing the blanket in the other direction to push the thing away. I was able to get some wonderful momentum since I had had one leg tucked under myself and used it to push away without thinking. Only after I felt my body leave the bed did I remember that I slept on the top bunk and that I was seconds away from a very painful crash into the cement floor. Except I didn't hit the floor. I hit a person whose arms came up and wrapped around me as I jumped back into them. Two people actually, as the one who grabbed my legs put them to the ground I clutched at whomever was holding my torso. The arm around my back stayed just long enough for me to find my footing before pulling away. I turned to look at the two who caught me and felt my face flush more than it ever had in my life.

Four and Eric had led a rather large group of dauntless into our dorm and had moved fairly close to mine and Tris' bunk as they needed the room to get in. On the one hand I am glad since I didn't hit the floor, on the other hand everyone was laughing hysterically at the initiate who flew half-naked into both her trainers' arms. I forced my jaw to open and muttered a barely audible thank you before I turned away from my brother and Eric, the only two not laughing but instead both watching me very closely.

When I turned Tris was right in front of me handing over a long-sleeved shirt. She was marvelous, she was wonderful. She deserved something amazing and I would do it for her if it killed me. I pulled it on very quickly before looking at what had scared me. It was a doll, a very disgusting doll. One of the most wretched things I had ever seen, and I had seen some pretty awful things among the factionless. Large enough to make me think it might have been real in that split second that I saw it before my brain caught up. Peter and Drew were still laughing obnoxiously loud and mimicking a shriek before laughing some more. They had put it there.

"That's enough!" Eric's voice was loud and I could not yet bring myself to look at him so I tossed the doll a couple feet in front of me and settled for glaring at the two who were halfheartedly stifling their laughter.

"Get dressed." Four continued. "We have 15 minutes to be at the tracks." Quickly I pulled on some pants and shoes. I was breathing fast and avoided eye contact with everyone as even the dauntless I had never seen before were still snickering at me. My face remained hot and I let Christina and Al move ahead of me so I could stare at their shoulders instead. Once everyone was out of the dorm the group began to run. Instantly my ribs ached at the jostling each step made. We made it to the tracks with three minutes to spare and caught our breath as we waited. Once it arrived we jumped on, I was running and wondering if the pain from the impact of hitting the train would be worth it when my brother leaned out grabbed my arm and helped pull me in effortlessly. It was less painful then doing it myself but that didn't make me feel much better.

The train ride was fairly uneventful, if I ignored the snorts and guffaws that I knew were meant for me. Molly kept doing a quiet little shriek that set their group off again. I crouched down against the wall and stared the floor. I knew I was still red-faced and I was grateful that Four stood next to me, at least half the train car was out of view behind his legs.

"Listen up," Four called out. "Tonight we play war games."

There was a bunch of wooping and cheering from the dauntless born and dauntless members who had joined us.

"The game is simple. Capture the flag. One team will get off first and hide their flag and then the other team will go a few minutes later. The goal is to capture the other teams flag. This game is dauntless tradition so I suggest you take it seriously." Four added looking around at the transfer initiates.

"What do we get if we win?"

"Sounds like the type of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," Four says casually. "You get to win, of course." He says it like it doesn't matter but his rigid stance makes me believe it does. Then he and two others start handing out guns and explain that they shoot neuro-stem darts, and stimulate the pain of a real bullet.

"Four and I are team captains," Eric speaks up. "Transfers first, shall we?" He directs towards Four.

"You pick first."

"Edward,"

Four nods and looks around. "Tris,"

There is some laughing and I am so thankful that it is not directed at me. Eric makes light fun of his choice and Four doesn't say much. Tris' face is slightly red. I feel my own face start to return to normal color as I am reminded that I am only the butt of the joke for the moment, and that things move on with or without me.

"Peter," Eric continues.

"Cristina,"

This goes on until Eric has Molly, Al, and Myra as well; Four has Will, Drew and me by default as I was the last one to be picked. They moved on to the Dauntless-born initiates then the handful of members who had come out.

I see Tris cover a smile as the teams' form. I am not sure about what but perhaps that is because I am too busy not making eye contact with anyone. By the time they are finished I feel calmer and steadier and stand up. Peter and Molly are on the other team. Drew is on mine, but without Peter he is not much to worry about. I want to win just so I can rub it in his smug little face.

"Your team can get off second," Eric says to Four.

"Don't do me any favors, you know I don't need them to win." Four smirks a little towards Eric.

"Take your scrawny team and get off first then." Eric looks annoyed at whatever Four had referenced.

We all line up to get off. Four and a couple dauntless born go first and when Tris moves forward Drew shoves her. She keeps her balance and then jumps quickly before he can do it again. You would think that being on the same team he would rather win but no, he is petty enough to try even that.

I follow the rest of my team off the train, I stumble awkwardly as I hit the ground but keep my feet. Thankfully, I don't know if my ribs could handle hitting the ground. Ahead of me the group is deciding what to do. Having never been out here before I don't offer my input. Instead I just follow them towards the marsh. We walk the bridge that goes over the mud covering the ground. One fall and I will need another shower.

The people in front of me make light banter as we keep moving, talking about our surroundings. Everyone argues about what we should do. I am still not inclined to bring any more attention to myself as they argue but I watch Tris, and then Four, move away. I don't follow. Instead I wait for the group to come to a decision. A few of them stayed behind to guard our flag while the rest of us moved out to start looking for the other team's flag. It is slow going, in the dark and muddy terrain. I am not very optimistic but refuse to just do nothing and give up. I stay close to two dauntless born initiates, Marlene and Kevin, and an older member, Cory.

We don't find much until there is some yelling off to our right. We rush towards it and jump right into a small battle. I shoot at the dark figures and keep with the same three I had been. We are doing well, I am positive I shot quite a few people, until we try to cross a bridge and at both sides appear members of the other team. We are outnumbered and shot at more than necessary; the four of us tumble off the bridge trying to get away from the shots as pain rips through my leg. Lying in the squishy mud I pull two darts out of my left leg and one from my shoulder.

On the bright side I could not possibly be any more embarrassed then I had been when I was woken up. Even covered in mud. The three who were with me looked forlorn as we climbed out and wiped mud off of ourselves. The members of the other team are smiling victoriously, Molly is there I see now, until a much larger group comes crashing into view holding a flag. Christina is holding it. That means my team won. Suddenly the mud is not bothering me anymore. Marlene starts laughing, and we join in. We won! We go over to celebrate with them and it seems they don't even care about mud flying off of our clothes either as everyone around us shouts in joy.

Getting on the train is not easy while covered in mud but Cory hops on just ahead of me and turns around to help pull me in. "Thank you," I say.

"Us mud-folk have to stick together!" He exclaims happily, pulling Marlene in as well. Kevin makes it by himself and goes to stand by some guys I assume are his friends. I look closely at the dauntless born initiates having not had too much interaction with them. We all move farther into the car to make room for others.

"Mud-folk," Marlene pouts as she wipes her hands on her pants, which just puts more mud on her hands. "I guess that's better than the girl who throws herself naked into her trainers." She winks at me.

"You weren't even there!" I say indignantly, "And that is NOT what happened."

"Either way," She says, "Now you are both." Then she laughs and walks towards a boy who had joined my friends.

"I fear your story may have been exaggerated slightly, but it was extremely amusing to see and I thank you for the laugh." Cory says lightly. He was very carefree, despite the mud covering his clothes. I held a conversation with him for a few minutes easily, and that is something that I am not very good at.

"What happened to you guys," Four says as he comes over to join us.

"Oh, you know, mud is just so good for the skin. I had to apply a layer while it was available." I said with a smile.

Cory laughed some more before asking about the game. I found out that Tris saw their flag and how to get it. "Well," Cory said as we neared Dauntless, "I'm glad we were able to help by staying out of the way. Next time perhaps we could stay out of the way on dry ground." He directed towards me stressing the word dry.

"Even better, next time we will capture the flag." I answered. He smiled agreeingly before jumping out of the train. Within a few minutes we had all hit the ground outside of the compound. Four had hung back with me as I walked stiffly in my wet clothes.

"So," He started, "You have not had a great night."

I sighed. Embarrassment after embarrassment. "I have had worse," I say. He keeps silent and I know that he is thinking of nights growing up with our father, though those were not what I was referring to. We are now walking alone down a corridor in the compound. "Tobias," I say quietly, "Where do you live?"

He looks surprised. "…here?"

I almost laugh. "But where, you have an apartment or something? You don't sleep in a room full of others do you?"

"No, I have a small apartment."

"Can I stay there?"

"What?" More surprise from my brother.

"Well… I need to shower and I am not fond of doing so while certain people are in the dorms. After the… doll, I really don't want to sleep in a room where they can get so close to me while I am unaware."

He hesitates.

"Please," I push, "Just for tonight?"

"Fine," He sighs. "I will let you in, and you can shower and sleep, but I have a shift in the control room so I can't stay."

"Seriously? It's like the middle of the night and you were up all day, and you are taking a shift? I know you and you are not that selfless."

He has a tight smile. "There are just some things going on and I wanted this shift." Is all he says. I don't push because I don't want him to change my mind about me staying there. He leads me down a new set of hallways and finally stops at a door, keying in his code he gestures me in. "OK, that door is for the bathroom. Go ahead and use whatever is in there. And here, some shorts and a shirt, too big for you maybe but they are clean." He eyes my attire as mud drops onto his floor and puts the clean clothes just inside the bathroom.

"I will clean it when I'm done, promise."

"I have no doubt," He replies before heading back out the door. I take a moment to look around his room. Simple. Aside from the door to the bathroom there is another one that I suspect leads to a bedroom. There is a small kitchen: fridge, sink, stove, counters and all. Nothing too interesting. I head into the bathroom and struggle out of my clothes. The shower stall has a proper door. I never realized how happy a door would make me. I step in and slowly take my time washing the mud off knowing that I am alone for once, there is shampoo and soap on some shelves so I scrub myself very clean. I close my eyes and let the water run over my head, something I have not done since coming to Dauntless. After a much longer shower than I have ever taken in my whole life I shut off the water and reach for a folded towel off the pile beside the stall. I dry myself and my hair painstakingly before dressing in the clothes he had put in here. I find a comb by the sink and untangle my hair. I am wondering what to do about the mud pile of clothes I left on the floor when the door bursts open. Not the one I came from, that led back to my brother's room, but one on the other side that I had not even noticed. To my utter disbelief, because really my luck cannot be that bad, stands Eric. He looks surprised for a moment, before composing himself into his usual angry self.

"What," He snaps, "Exactly," He stresses the word very slowly, "Are you doing here?"

"I-" I try to start but am not sure what to say.

"In Four's bathroom." He hisses out Four's name. "You are in mine and Four's bathroom." He stresses his name again.

"Yes, well no! But, yes, I mean-"

He interrupts me again. "Get. Out."

"He's my brother!" I finally exclaim.

Eric pauses, then with a mirthless laugh he mutters, "Fucking stiff," as he shakes his head.

"You were in the same class weren't you? You knew he was a transfer… you didn't think that he might possibly know one of the two 'stiffs' this year?" I asked back a little more aggressively then I intended.

"I spend very little of my time thinking about him, or you."

I am offended. I am not sure why I want him to be thinking about me, but I am definitely offended by that remark.

"Get out," He repeats. This time I take a moment and look at him. He is shirtless, which three weeks ago would have made me blush, but today I am drawn to the blood coming down his arm. He has a fairly serious cut under some badly wrapped gauze.

"Would you like some help?" The words come out, unfiltered from my brain to my mouth, and I cannot call them back now. The one time my urge to help someone wins out and it is him.

"What?" I cannot read his expression.

I swallow hard before I speak again, "It's just- that looks like it needs stitches, and you can't possibly stitch your arm by yourself." I say as logically as I can.

He studies me for a moment, then walks a bit closer. I think for a second that this was a mistake and I should run away, but I stand my ground. He pulls a box from a shelf in the wall and hands it to me. Cautiously I take the box and open it. Inside is everything I would need to sew his arm. I guess that is as close to a yes as I am getting. I bite my lip and then ask, "Is there somewhere you can sit down?"

He doesn't say anything again but heads back through the door he came in so I follow. The other side is a room much likes Four's, he heads over to the small kitchen and sits on a stool. I pull out supplies and place them on the counter. It is easy for me to cut off the makeshift bandage and clean the wound, something I have done a hundred times before, not that I was about to tell him that. "This isn't from capture the flag is it?" I ask to break the silence.

"No." Is his short reply. He doesn't elaborate so I don't ask him to. "Where did you learn to do this?" He asks.

I purse my lips not wanting to tell the truth. That I practiced many times on my brother, or my own skin on occasion, after my father 'taught' us or 'helped' us. "We helped at the hospital in Abnegation." That was mostly true. I did help. I just didn't help like this. He doesn't say anything else so I keep working. He watches me the whole time, turning his head to follow me as I toss something in the garbage or get a wet cloth to wipe away some blood. I want to tell him to stop staring but I have reached my confidence quota for the day. I am exhausted, so much has happened. I finish and wrap a neat bandage around it before I go to the sink to wash my hands. I put the items back in the kit, or garbage as needed, and turned back towards Eric to hand it to him. He is standing right behind me which catches me off guard and of course, of fucking course, I stumble in surprise and almost fall. But he wraps an arm around my back and pulls me up against his chest. Almost like he did that first day when I literally ran into him in the hallway, except today he does not look furious, he is looking at me very differently, almost… possessively?

I flush again, but it is not the flush of embarrassment that I had earlier in the dorm as everyone laughed at me. It feels different. I feel warmth spreading through me, and I wonder why I don't feel embarrassed. There is only one reason I could think of. Am I attracted to him? How could that happen? _When_ did that happen? When he was yelling at us, pushing us to knock each other unconscious? When he told Christina to hang over the chasm? While he argued with my brother, or told us that we might not be worthy of Dauntless and may become factionless? We are so close; I can feel his breath on my face. I can feel his heartbeat in his chest under my hand. We are merely inches apart and I have no intention of pushing away, but suddenly he does. He twists apart and the first aid kit is in his hands, though I am not sure when he grabbed it. I am not sure of much at the moment.

"You should go," He says coarsely. I turn and walk back through the bathroom, back into my brother's room. I shut the door and lean against it. What just happened?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I wake up and for a moment don't remember where I am. This is not my room in Abnegation. This is not the dorm I have been sharing with other initiates. I almost panic before I recall that I had asked to stay in my brother's room. Then I do panic when I remember what happened after my shower. I stay in the bed to calm down before sitting up and looking around. There is some light coming in through a window in the main living area, but the bedroom is dark. I get up and listen to see if anyone is out there, before stepping into the other room. It is Sunday and we don't have any training today, since we were up most of the night playing capture the flag. I am alone so I decide to go back to the dorm and change into clothes that fit me better and were not over large. I listen at the door and peek out into the hallway, there is no one around so I step out and head back in the direction I came from last night. I know why I don't want to be seen, besides how it would look coming out of Four's room wearing his clothes, but because there is one person I don't want to have to deal with.

It took my much longer then my fatigued body should have to fall asleep last night. I considered going back to the dorm but I was sore enough that I stayed where I was. I thought about what had happened, I haven't had too much experience in the matter but I am pretty sure we almost kissed. I kept running the situation in my head and can't come up with anything new. Four and Eric had spent nearly every day for the last three weeks training us. I suppose I could see how being around someone so often I may start to see them differently. Although I am pretty sure that he is an ass and that there is no way he could feel anything for me, I was probably just there and he reacted to a girls' presence. I have seen it happen before; I didn't want to think of my own situation years ago so I thought of the others I was with daily. In fact, I had watched Will splutter more than once when Christina entered the room and they have only known each other for the same amount of time. All I had to do was get through initiation and then I wouldn't have to worry about this anymore. I could go on and pretend nothing happen, I hope anyways. I would focus on my training; I could do that.

The dorm is empty when I enter, not surprising as my stomach rumbles, I bet they were all at breakfast. Or lunch, as I looked at my watch, it was 11:30. I find a pair of pants that I got last night and pair it with a shirt and boots. Then I make my way to the dining hall. I sit at an empty table and start eating my food. As I am finishing my food Four and Zeke sit down across from me. They both have huge bags under their eyes yet they look more alive than I feel.

"Hi," I say.

I get two big grins as they shovel food into their mouths.

"What's… what's going on?"

"Nothing," Is the only reply I get as they continue to eat.

"Ok…" I am not sure what else to say so I watch them for a few more minutes. "Long night?" I ask finally. I can't help my curiosity. I know I should not be asking questions but I was intrigued.

"Very," Four replied.

"Delicious," Zeke said as he finished his plate.

"Well," Four starts before I can say anything else. "I'm going to get some sleep."

"Good plan!" Zeke agreed and together they rose and walked away from the table. I stared after their backs. They were hiding something, though I couldn't imagine what. But they avoided my questions and my Candor friends said that is suspicious behavior. I was learning a lot from my fellow transfers. Maybe not all useful, like Will's memorization of the periodic table. I can't foresee ever needing that knowledge. I look around and don't see them in the dining hall so I exit and make my way to the training room. I am pleased when I see them over by the punching bags.

"Hi," I say as I approach.

"Clair!"

"Where did you go?"

"Congrats on winning the game last night," I say towards them.

Al frowns a little. "I can't believe I was on the other team!"

"We know,"

"Tris I hear you climbed the ferris wheel! Are you crazy!"

She looked at me oddly for a second. "Are you afraid of heights?" She asked.

"Not that I know of… but I would be afraid of that old thing breaking."

"A couple rungs did," She admitted. Christina looked like she wanted to say something but she kept it to herself. They kept practicing against their bags. I stepped up to an empty one and stared at it for a bit. This is what I do on my spare time now. I look around the room and there is a large number of people in here, I see most of the initiates as well. Is this what I have always wanted? I am not sure. I never thought to much about what I wanted, of course I didn't that would be self-serving. Urg, I need to toughen up. Needed to start thinking about what I wanted. If I thought about my friends, I might not fight as hard as I needed to, to not be kicked out before initiation was over.

Thinking about that made me think about Eric again. I groaned in frustration and pushed on the bag with open palms. This was ridiculous. Obviously nothing would come of whatever it was that happened. My brain refused to listen though, now that it had caught the subject various scenarios were swirling around. What if something did happen and that's what gets me kicked out? What were Dauntless rules in this situation anyways? In Abnegation there was a whole courting procedure. I doubt there was much like that here, or in other factions even. I have seen many different things since being here, one of which is open affection. I know I would never be able to do that. Having grown up without a mother I almost never saw so much as hand holding. Occasionally at school I would see two people, or maybe in a public area in the city, but I always turned away quickly. _Not always_. A pesky little voice in my head spoke up. _Isn't that why you wanted to learn to fight and defend yourself?_

Well, yes, but now that I was no longer Abnegation it didn't apply. In Abnegation I fed the factionless and was around them regularly. I often felt unsafe, for good reason, in their sector and pushed to be allowed to volunteer at the hospital as much as possible. Now, in Dauntless, I would not have to face the factionless.

"Clair," Just behind me.

I look up in surprise, I had not realized they were talking to me. How long was I standing here? "Sorry,"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired." It wasn't a lie at least.

"We were just saying that it's a day off. We should do something." Will said.

"Like what?" I asked. "We can't even go outside…"

"Let's go to the pit," Tris suggested. "There's got to be something there." Agreeing we all headed out the door. Entering the pit was energizing. The people around always seemed to be celebrating. They were so loud, and happy, and interesting. For me at least. The variety of hair, piercings and tattoos. Of clothes even! I started to see why Christina enjoyed the stores here. I could get used to that.

"You know; I think I want a piercing or new hairstyle maybe." I say. I am pleased that they don't look at me as surprised as they would have mere weeks ago. That means their perception of me is changing, into something more Dauntless I hope.

"I wanted to get another tattoo," Will says. We end up splitting up, I go alone to see the hairstylist and the others go look at tattoos. I follow the path and stay close to the wall, I have no fear of falling but I do feel as though someone could easily push me, and I know a few people who would want to. I enter the bright room and a woman older than most anyone I have seen here yet comes over to me, she introduces herself as Stella. After I say I wanted a cut she directed me to a chair in front of a large mirror. I turned my eyes downward and stare at my hands. The moment I realize what I had done I look back up. I have been working on it but old habits die hard. My hair is long and dark brown. In summer it lights up a bit after spending time in the sun, but in these dark hallways it looks darker than ever.

"What would you like?" She asks as she looks at me in the mirror.

"Uh," I say having never been asked that question before. "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure." She repeats. "You didn't think that is something you should have thought of before coming here?" She does not say it meanly.

"I've just never thought about it before…" I trail off and she connects the dots.

"Transfer initiate?" She asks and I nod. "Abnegation." She states. "Don't frown at me, two of you in one year is very unusual and people talk. You were first jumper?"

"No," I say politely even though I hated the knowledge that people talked about me. "My friend Tris was, I jumped after her."

"Well, you are mostly through stage one at this point, but many girls chop most of it off to avoid having it used against them during fights." I stumbled for a second as I tried to follow the subject change then remembered I was here for a haircut.

"No, please, I would like to keep some length if I could. I like to put it up into a bun or braid most times." I was attached to my hair. I didn't even know that until she brought up that option.

"You like the length; can I decide beyond that?" Suddenly she looked a little more excited.

I bite my lip, then smile. "Sure, OK, whatever you think is good."

She gives me a wide smile now. She starts brushing and cutting, she moves her hands quickly through my hair changing her tools up every now and then. After she studies some lengths and adjusts a few cuts she sighs satisfied. Half of my hair is still pinned up so I can't see it. "Move over to the sink back here now."

I obey, now slightly worried. It's just hair, I remind myself. I let her wash and lather and then section my hair off before applying something that smelt nasty. She shushed me when I tried to ask what she was doing. After she washed it out again and dried it she moved me to another chair, but this one didn't have a mirror. She dried it, and cut a few more small parts. She finished and stepped back. Encouraging me to stand up she walks me over to the mirror. I stand in front of it and look at my hair. It is my same dark brown, just cut nicely into some layers and she had switched my part to the side.

Stella reached and grabbed my hair lifting it up, as she lets it fall back to my shoulders I let out a small gasp. It was red. Underneath the brown was red. I touched it and repeated was she did, watching the red hair fall back down.

"It's lovely." I say.

"I wanted to do something to make you stand out, but still let you keep what you are used too." She explained.

"Thank you, this is exactly what I needed."

"Good, off with you now. I have more hair to cut." She smiled knowingly as I ran my hands through my hair again. It would go back to sweaty and lifeless as soon as I did a workout. But I felt a little more like I belonged. I found the tattoo parlor and Tris was sitting with Al, waiting for the other two I suppose. She stood up as I came over.

"Your hair," She said as she walked around me. "It's red." The bottom bit mixed with the brown and red a bit so I lifted it, to show her its entirety. "It looks good," She said, just a little too earnestly as went stood beside Al now. I looked between her and him; they would not make eye contact. Something happened, I think. They looked rigid next to each other.

"Thank you," I decide not to pursue it. I wouldn't know what to ask, and would probably be just as embarrassed about the questions as they would.

Will and Christina come out together and show us their new tattoos. In turn I show off my hair. Al and Will go to dinner, but Christina get Tris and I to follow her. She stops at a store quickly and gets us to use our points on a couple things that I am unsure of, but I let a stranger cut my hair today. I could let my friend do something as well.

Once we stand in the bathroom Christina shows us what we got. "You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know." Tris says to her as she allows Christina to draw on her face.

"You aren't ugly Tris," I say and frown. I understand why she would say that, vanity blah blah blah. But we weren't the same girls we were anymore. Were stronger, more confident, dauntless.

"Besides," Christina says as she finishes and pulls away. "Who cares about being pretty, you are striking."

Tris opens her eyes and stares in the mirror. She starts with her clothes, then follows the tattoos along her collarbone that we can see under her tank top. Her cheek is a little yellow and purple from a recent bruise but fading. She looks up into her eyes and I watch her shift. I watch her see herself.

She smiles, "I am a different person."

"You are Tris." I say.

Christina turns to me, and does the same procedure. It is hard for me to hold still as someone puts something shard to my eye, but I do. Christina is already wearing some make up, as it is called. Once finished with me the three of us look into the mirror. Like Tris I now see myself as a new person. I stand taller. I don't look away. I am Clarissa Eaton from Abnegation. But I am also Clair, the Dauntless member who will pass initiation.

They must be thinking the same thing because seconds later Christina says, "Dauntless is not what I expected, it is even better."

I smile in agreeance. Some of the red hair is over my shoulder. Long black sleeved shirt, I cannot see the bruises on my ribcage though I can still feel them. Green eyes lined with black. I looked so different. I think back to my brother in Abnegation, and my brother now. I understand now how he changed so much, I also understood why he never tried to come back to see me. We head to supper together, and end up sitting with some Dauntless born. Tris fits right in already, Christina is so friendly that she falls into conversation easily. I find out that Uriah is Zeke's younger brother, and Lynn is Shauna's sister. I should tell them that I am related to Four, but in doing so I would be admitting much more than that. They don't seem to realize that he was an Abnegation transfer and I do not want to ruin that for him so I keep quiet. It is nice, sitting among the bustle of these people.

I look towards to entrance and see Four and Eric enter together. They both look over to our table for a split second before they turn towards a table with Zeke, Levi and some others that I don't know. Seeing them reminds me that there is training tomorrow. I will worry about that later. For the moment I continue to enjoy the presence of people round me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

My alarm went off as usual in the morning. I stretched lazily before climbing off my bunk, being sure not to hit Tris in the process. Yesterday had been a full day off rest we all slept in and went to bed early. In fact, despite my still tender ribs, I felt better than I had in quite a while. Once in the training room Tris and I decided to spar with one another. We kept it simple and light, basically doing a warm up before breakfast and then a day of training.

During breakfast Four walked around telling all the initiates to meet at the tracks, we are going somewhere apparently. We arrived with time to spare so I walked to a spot that was a few feet away and alight in the morning sun. I missed this, being outside. Another little freedom that I took for granted when I had it. At least once initiation was over I would be able to go out whenever I wanted, one way or another. I was standing with my arms spread when I heard the train coming, I headed back over to the group as it turned around the bend. Jumping on was getting easier and easier. I ran alongside the car and hurled myself towards the opening, pulling myself up and away so others could climb on. I couldn't help my grin, not just because I made it so easily, but because of how much I enjoyed it.

"Listen up," Eric's voice. I had spent the last day avoiding him, not that it had been hard, and didn't want to just give in. Unfortunately, he had called for our attention and it would look weird if I turned the other way. I turned to face him with the others as he started to talk. "Today we are going to the fence. We'll spend the morning touring and seeing how various jobs out here work. Then, after lunch, you get to help load supplies from Amity going into the city." Annoyance crossed his features. "What?"

"What if we don't want a job on the fence." That was Peter, cocky Peter, thought he was better than everyone.

"The jobs you get will be determined by your rankings." Four answered. "There are only a few desirable jobs available, the higher you rank the better your chance of getting one."

That seemed to satisfy Peter if his smug little smile was anything to go by. I would not put it past him to cheat to get ahead. The rest of the train ride I sat between Al and Tris, still acting awkward. Not that Will and Christina noticed as they flirted back and forth. He said something; she laughed. She said something; he brushed her arm. It really was rather interesting.

I stood up ready to jump off and followed the flow as we all exited the train. No one fell, though there were a few stumbles since we were all close together and hit one another. We had all improved since that first day when we started initiation. We trailed along behind Four and Eric as they walked towards the fence. Stopping by the bottom they turned to us and started explaining the different positions.

Well, Four did. Eric stood there with his arms crossed alternating between glaring at us, some Amity that walked by and then at some Dauntless guards. Apparently he looked impressively intimidating since the Amity group hushed up and skirted around Four and Eric who were by the fence and ended up going around the entire group.

Fours speech was boring, probably because the jobs were. I was certain it was better than being factionless though. Even if I came in last I knew I needed to pass initiation, I don't know what I would do if I was cast out. I couldn't join the factionless, I just couldn't.

We followed Four as he started to climb the ladders and stairs up towards the walkway. The fence looked like it had been hastily built with not much thought put into it. I watch things around us closer. In fact, the locks were on the outside of the fence. That was weird, shouldn't we be locking things out; not in? Reaching the top, I moved off to the side letting the last ones up, Eric bringing up the back. He was studying everything going on, watching the guards up here and down below. That was also weird, but I guess I rarely saw him around other members and as a leader that would be his job.

Four was talking again, standing with a petite girl with pink hair. After he finished the girl spoke and started walking down the small path. So boring. I couldn't hear her too well as Tris and I were near the back. Sadly, that was because her and I both had the need to let other people go first. We stopped again and she told us we could check some things out ourselves. There was about five different levels that I could see at sporadic intervals. Some of the initiates had started off in different directions taking different stairs. I shrugged at her and together we head down a level.

"The fence is not built very well is it?" She said starting up conversation.

I looked closely at some rusted metal. "Not very well taken care of either. I would be more afraid of dying while on watch here then… whatever… they are watching for."

We both stood and looked out away from the city. I stood in a patch of sunlight and tilted my face towards it. I really missed the sun. We spent about an hour walking along it and got a couple looks from guards but nobody really cared. We went up to the topmost tier to take a look around and while standing there heard a commotion below us.

"Don't touch me!" That sounded like Molly. Tris and I both leaned over the edge to try and see better, I didn't work so I quickly dropped down some stairs. Molly was down one more with some older bald guy. She was backing away from him and he was herding her towards the edge. I found the next ladder down and rushed over to it a few feet away before dropping through the hole there with Tris right behind me. I barely used to rungs and turned towards them again, she was leaning against a very weak looking rail as he continued his advance. I was a few feet away wondering what I could do when he reached out to grab her wrist. Her face was full of disgust and his was full of something I never wanted to see again. Some sort of anger mixed with what I could describe as lust as he looked her up and down slowly. She smacked his hand away as he reached for the hem of her shirt, or her pants, I wasn't sure.

I wanted to help her, I did, but I froze. Tris pushed past me but didn't get far when out of nowhere a figure grabbed the man by his shoulders and flung him across the walkway into another rail, which bent and squeaked against his weight but held. It was Eric I saw as he walked over to the man. The bald stranger was probably about the same height as me but broad and thick, heavy. I was impressed Eric had tossed him so easily, even more so when he grabbed his throat and pulled him up. He pushed the guy into the railing and pushed his torso over it so he was slightly hanging out. He was turning red from lack of air I would imagine. Eric was hissing words at him that I couldn't hear. I turned to Molly to see if she was alright but was stunned at the glare she was giving us.

"Are you-"Tris started to ask.

"Shut up, you stupid stiff!" She snapped before turning and disappearing down some more ladders. Tris looked at me bewildered.

"You two," Eric. He had let the man back onto the path but was still holding his arm in what must be a very painful grip. "Follow her, find Four and the others."

Nodding we circled past him and down the ladder Molly had taken. We kept silent until we were on the ground and quickly found Molly next to Peter, Drew and Four. She looked ashen but glared at us again, I knew she was telling us to keep our mouths shut. I frowned but couldn't see why I should say anything to anyone. Eric saw he would deal with it. I walked and stood next to my brother, feeling myself calm down just by being close to him. Edward and Myra joined us grinning at each other. Then Al came over, and finally Christina and Will, neither of the two looking at us or even each other.

"Has anyone seen Eric?" Four asked. Another hateful stare from Molly was shot towards us. "Never mind, he knows where we are going." Then he led us towards to road where an Amity woman stood talking to a younger girl. They both smiled so brightly when we approached.

"There you are!" She called happily, the woman whose name we learned was Abigail, shook Fours hand firmly, the traditional greeting of Dauntless. I could see on his face that he was glad at least that she did not try to hug him. "We have some food here for lunch." She said gesturing to a platter of sandwiches. We were able to fill our water bottles as well from a jug they had here. Eric joined us partway through the meal and sat beside Four to eat a sandwich. Neither of them said anything to each other. They had a weird peace around us initiates that I had seen break more than once. I kept my mouth shut about the matter I had seen earlier and Tris seemed to be doing the same.

After we had eaten Abigail led us to a large warehouse and some trucks explaining that we were to help load the supplies going into the city. There was already a large bustle of people moving around, Amity and the Dauntless-born initiates were here as well. It made sense that they wouldn't need a tour of the fence.

We started picking up the large bags and passing them up into the trucks. The bags were heavy but the weeks of training had paid off, I could easily carry them the few feet across. I was tired and had drank all of my water when the trucks were loaded and the pallets mostly tided up. Four and Lauren started leading the initiates away when I heard Abigail calling out again.

"You and you," She said pointing to Peter and I, "We could use your help still." Eric nodded when she looked towards him so Peter and I broke away to go stand with her. Four shrugged at me and kept moving away with the others. She directed us to load up another truck with a bunch of crates. When we were done she and two other Amity got into the back sitting close to the open back of the truck where the only bit of room was.

"Get in," Eric said from behind us. Peter jumped up immediately, sitting down on the bench across from the Amity members. I climbed in after him sitting down trying not to get too close. Eric climbed in last and moved to sit in the last open seat which was beside me, so I had to scoot closer to Peter to make room. I had done so well avoiding him up until now, I couldn't look at him in fear that I would blush, and that in itself was confusing. The three of us sat facing the three Amity, at which point I realized I was sitting across from Robert who had been in Abnegation with me. Of course.

"Clarissa," He said with a light hearted smile as the truck started to move. I felt the men on both sides of me twitch when he said my name.

"Hello Robert." I say politely.

"I saw Beatrice earlier this afternoon, you two are looking..." He hesitates for a moment. "well." Tris had bruises on her face still, at least my bruised ribs were covered by my shirt. As Robert talks Eric shifts a bit more; he has repeated several times to us 'Faction before Blood.' I guess he did not approve of even conversing with old faction members.

Peter lets out a laugh. "Well? Neither of them could ever look 'well.'" He said mockingly.

"Like you're one to talk." I snapped back at him even though he could actually be considered good looking. I felt pleased to see his busted eye brow was still slightly swollen and definitely visible. Robert looks uncomfortable, he was friendly but he seemed to try and avoid the conversation by looking down a bit. What was that about? Had something happened earlier with Tris, it sounded like maybe it had. Or was it me? Or was it the two Dauntless on either side of me, neither of whom looked particularly approachable or nice.

"I suppose looks don't really matter though," Peter continued stressing the word 'really.' "I mean, there could be other things going on." He reached out slowly as if to touch my thigh and I jumped up quickly to stay out of his reach. Which only made him laugh. "Oh, give me a break!" He said through his laughter, "As if!"

"Sit down." Eric growled lowly at me, he was not impressed right now. Cautiously I took my seat between them again, I will admit that I sat slightly closer to Eric. I loathed Peter, even more than Eric who had so far been nothing but ruthless while training us. The rest of the short ride was mostly in silence. As the truck started to slow down Eric stood up and jumped out of the back. I followed swiftly happy to be out of that small awkward space. I turned towards the truck and Peter rammed into me as he jumped out, toppling me to the ground.

"What the hell!" I snapped standing up. "You stupid pansycake! What you aren't even coordinated enough to get out of a truck!"

"You were in the way stiff! Not my fault you're too slow to move." I was about ready to punch him when Eric grabbed both our arms and shoved us apart.

"That is enough! If you two can't behave nicely then you two can't be in the same faction. Anymore of this and one of you won't be." He said, another form of the factionless threat. Interesting that he didn't actually say factionless, perhaps because there were different faction members watching and listening?

"Nice?" Peter smiled, "I can be nice."

I held in a scoff. I could out nice Peter every day of the week. I was Abnegation born after all. I smiled back at him ever so sweetly. "Absolutely." I jumped over towards Abigail as she opened the back of the truck slowly. "These are to be unloaded right there?" She nodded as I pointed to a nearby door.

Peter immediately moved over to help with the truck and crates as well. "That front one is so heavy Clair, let me help you." He took an end as I pulled it out and together we heaved it over to the nearby ledge. We continued our battle of pleasantries for the few moments it took to unload everything.

"Thank you, for your help." Abigail said. She shook Eric's hand, then Peters. She turned to shake my hand but I moved in closer and gave her a hug. I saw a moment of surprise cross her face before she smiled and hugged me back tightly.

"Thank you for lunch," I said to her. "It was nice to see you again Robert, and nice to meet you Henry." He looked surprised that I knew his name, he had barely said two words to anyone the entire time.

Abigail's eyes sparkled at me, she understood the game I was playing. "Of course, I look forward to our next meeting."

"I said 'be nice' not 'be Amity.'" Eric said to me and Peter let out an amused snort.

"Well," I said seriously. "I can always punch Peter, if it would make you feel that I was more Dauntless."

Eric smiled for half a second before keeping his emotionless expression. "That will be fine, I think." He turned to Abigail and pulled a small envelope out of his pocket to give to her. "See you next month."

"Safe travels!" She called as we started to walk away. Peter and I walked on either side of Eric as he led us to a nearby train track.

"It should be here soon," He said and then leaned against a pillar to wait. I studied him for a moment, he was watching the tracks in the distance. His piercings shinned in the setting sun and you could see the tattoos on his arms and neck since he was wearing a short sleeved black shirt. It was the first time I actually saw him as a person and not a big scary leader who was training us. I turned my face up to the sun quickly, in part because I would miss it soon, but also because I could feel Peter staring at me and I didn't want to give him any more ammo. When the train came I got ready to get on, noticing that it was not slowing as much as I was used to. I started to run next to the car, Eric hopped in first opening the door. Then Peter. Gritting my teeth, I flung myself sideways against the doorway gripping the handle tightly. I jammed my foot onto the small ledge as the motion of the train pushed me back a bit, and managed to haul myself in. I sat down next to the door, across from Peter. I watched him warily but he didn't try anything for the rest of the trip.

"Members entrance, we are jumping." Eric said after about 15 minutes. I stood up and could barely see the rooftop I had jumped onto after the choosing ceremony. That seemed like it had happened years ago. I was not the same person as I was then, though I jumped exactly as I had done that day. I stepped away from the door until I was standing next to Peter and as soon as the roof was across the gap I rushed forward and flew off the train. I tucked and rolled as soon as my feet hit the ground, continuing a few feet before coming to a stop. I stood up and saw Eric, and then Peter on the roof just a bit away. Eric was on the ledge and jumping off the building before I was even over there.

"After you," I said to Peter gesturing him towards the hole. He looked at me suspiciously so I stepped away a few feet. He climbed on only once he was satisfied with our distance, which reinforced my thoughts that had I tried first he probably would have pushed me in such a way that I would have missed the hole, and probably just landed on the jutting roof below. Once he was out of sight I climbed onto the ledge. I stared up at the darkened sky for a moment. I missed being outside, so much. Maybe a fence job wouldn't be so bad. I would always be able to be in the fresh air, and at least I wouldn't be factionless. I looked around at the roof before leaping off the building and down into the net I knew waited below.


	10. Chapter 10

** Chapter 10**

The next day of training went uneventfully. We had some more fighting matches and shot the guns up on the roof. I went back to the training room after dinner to do some laps around the inside track. My legs didn't last long, they had taken a beating during my fight with Drew today, though I won in the end. At this point we had all fought each other at least twice, if not more. After a few rounds of target practice with the daggers that were left out on the table I headed back for a shower. I was quick and once dressed in my usual long sleeved black shirt, pants, and some shoes I headed out the door to go for a walk. I found myself in the large room housing the net laid out for members to jump. The roof was a wide hole looking up into the night sky. The sky was clear and I could see the moon directly up above. I walked up a small set of stairs in the corner and climbed up onto the net.

I let gravity do the rest of the work and rolled into it settling on my back once I was in the sunken middle. I watched the moon for a while. I must have fallen asleep for a bit because I woke to the distant sounds of the train coming from up above. I blinked dazedly up at the sky and realized just a bit too late that a dark figured had climbed up onto the ledge, and jumped down towards the net I was laying on. I rolled away, gripping the ropes to pull myself faster but I was not quite fast enough. The body hit the net and I let out a small cry as I was flung into the air. I hit the net again, and then again, the final time I rolled half on top of whomever had jumped.

"What. The. Fuck."

Oh no. No no no no no, that was not good. I tried to push up and away but he moved as well which only knocked my arm out from under me. "I'm sorry!" I said as I hurriedly tried to sit up again.

"Do you have a death wish!" Eric demanded once, after a bunch of fumbling, we were both finally sitting upright.

"I didn't think-"

"No," He interrupted. "You didn't think."

"Ther-"

"We used this entrance last night." He basically growled at me.

"I know! I'm so sorry!" I said quickly. I can't believe this. Of course I was stupid for lying there, but seriously? Out of every single member he jumps down. I pushed my leg under me and tried to get to the end of the net to get off, but he had moved at the same time which just knocked us into each other again for the third time. One of my legs was thrown over his and I was lying on his chest. I tried to push up again but stopped when he spoke.

"Don't move," He said, and I stilled at his words. He wrapped his arms around me and seconds later we had rolled off the net and my feet hit the ground. I looked at him in amazement before I caught myself and looked down. I was impressed with how fast he got not only himself but both of us off the net. I could barely roll my own body towards the edge. He was strong. He was controlled. And he was pissed off at me. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to hit a taut net?" He asked.

"I'm sorry," I said again softly rubbing my shoulder where it hurt the most. "Are you OK?"

He stops pacing and frowns at me. "What were you doing on there."

"I wanted to see the sky," I said with a small shrug. I still couldn't meet his eyes properly.

"You couldn't find a window?" He asked.

Now I did look up at him, in confusion. "I haven't seen…" I trailed off realizing that I had seen a window. In my brother's place. And his. I blushed quickly and looked down again. What was wrong with me, I normally always had something to say about anything.

He took a step closer to me, then paused as he seemed to consider. "You didn't break any rules." He said grudgingly.

"So… I'm not in trouble?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm not happy, but there isn't anything I can do for the moment. I will be watching you though. Give me an excuse, anything." He was threatening me although I couldn't muster the fear I have had in the past.

I smiled slightly, "Thank you. I won't though."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You are close enough to the bottom that I doubt you'll be a problem much longer."

That was an insult. "I am doing amazing from when I arrived!" I said forcefully. "I win half of my matches-" I didn't get a chance to continue to defend myself, verbally anyways. He threw a punch towards my face. I wasn't able to dodge in my surprise but I did swing my arm up and block it. "Hey!" I snapped angrily.

"What? You think being Dauntless is going to get easier? That you will always be safe?"

"No! But-"

"Stage two is even harder than stage one, don't get cocky now. And we continue to train physically even while your tested emotionally daily."

"I know-"

"No! You don't know, that's the problem. You are a stupid little initiate." Eric muttered to himself.

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are."

He insults me and then interrupts everything I try to say, and throws a punch at me. Now I was angry too. I took a step closer to him and shoved his chest hard with both hands. "Stop interrupting me!" My shove barely made him tilt back, which only made me angrier.

He grabbed both my wrists in a vice grip, crushing them painfully. "Watch yourself." He said lowly. "Remember who you are talking to."

I winced painfully in his grasp and tried to pull out of it. Which only made him squeeze harder. "What makes you think you can get away with everything you do!" I cried trying not to let my voice rise as the pain in my wrists did.

He lets out a bitter laugh. "Besides my position? The fact that I can and no one is able to stop me."

No one is able. Maybe there are plenty able and they are just too afraid to try. I'm not afraid of bullies, and as far as I was concerned that's what he was being_. Like a babysitter who sharpens knives_. Tris had said early into training. She was proven right when that afternoon there had been a small fiasco with Al missing the target repeatedly that somehow resulted in Tris having daggers thrown at her. Tris stood up to him and was hit down for it. Something I just didn't want to stand for. My anger gave me enough courage to fight back.

I brought a knee up between us to shove him away, he dropped one of my wrists and instead grabbed my leg. I wrapped my now free arm around his neck and in the same moment he lifted my leg higher, to throw me off-balance onto the ground I'm sure, I pulled down on his neck with all my weight. His forehead hit my knee and he let go of me, I stumbled when both feet hit the ground. My plan had just been to get free and I backed up a step, but that was not his plan. He came at me and I blocked three painful punches and twisted against his kick so it would do less damage.

In the second it took him to put his foot down and regain his balance I punched at his gut and then face twice. He blocked the latter two punches and before I could get another he side swiped my feet successfully knocking me to the ground. I hit the floor and immediately rolled away, I was halfway to my feet when he grabbed one of my arms and pinned the other to my side. He pulled me up so I was standing with my back against his chest unable to move. I squirmed for a second but his grip never loosened. He had won in less than a minute.

"Tell me, what is your plan?" He asked with his head right next to my ear.

I was breathing heavily, from the small workout or the adrenaline I wasn't sure, but he wasn't even winded. "Not allow myself to be bullied."

"Bullied?" He laughed. He actually laughed at me. "If I was purely trying to bully you, I would have done so from the instant you placed yourself on the net. I was willing to give you a chance."

"You have already condemned me to not passing initiation!" I struggled a bit more in frustration. I felt him shrug.

"I am not bullying you. I am training you. Teaching you that the world is not fair. That it is not easy. That you need to constantly strive to be better. In fact," He released me and I spun around. "I won't take away points for attacking." Now he smirked. "As I said you are already near the bottom ranking, ridiculously close to being kicked out. Instead, you will have a match against me each night after dinner for the rest of stage one, since you seem so eager to fight me. This counts for today, be in the training room at 7 tomorrow night." With that he exited the room.

Was he serious? On the one hand, that seemed like a good deal considering what I had done. On the other hand, he would probably beat me up so badly I would lose point the next day anyways. On the other hand, he might actually be helpful and provide tips like he had before. On the other hand he probably just want to beat me up. Or maybe he really was trying to be helpful and train us?

Letting out a huff of air loudly I all but stomped my way back towards the dormitory. "Where have you been?" Christina asked when I sat next to her on the bed.

"You'll never guess how freaking bad my luck is." I said quietly not wanting to draw the attention of the others. I told her and Tris what happened and was pleasantly pleased as they listened and made small comments in all the right places. I could definitely get used to having friends like this.

"Well… you're out of initiation." Christina said leaning back.

"No," Tris said thoughtfully. "Maybe he really is trying to train us helpfully."

I smiled, they were arguing the points I had brought up to myself.

"This is the guy who hung me over the chasm."

"To be fair, he didn't actually hang you, he just told you to do it." Tris said helpfully.

Christina scoffed with a small glare. "We should come with you, make sure he doesn't like, kill you or something."

Well, that was comforting.

"I think it will be better if she goes alone. Or at least, not have a direct audience." Tris said. "I've noticed he is more of a… person… when he's not trying to be a leader in front of everyone. If we go he will have to prove that he's got the power blah blah blah."

I laughed. "How often are you around him alone?" I asked.

"A few times when we are up early in the training room. He showed me how to keep my balance after a high kick. Not before laughing at me when I hit the floor, but still."

I contemplated what she said. He had seemed genuine in the training room a couple times. Maybe he wasn't only a complete asshole who thrived on our pain.

"Chasm." Christina reiterated before getting up.

Maybe he was an asshole though. I guess I would find out. We crawled into our bunks when the lights shut off and the room quieted down. Falling asleep took a little longer than usual for me, and when I did sleep I had nightmares.

I woke in a sweat when my alarm went off. Sometimes our friends would come with us early in the morning, today Al joined Tris and I as we left the room before breakfast. Tris always got up with me, the others must not feel like they need as much training. I knew I needed to take advantage of every second I could put in. Al's size gave him an advantage no matter what but he had proven his intense dislike for the fights. So, on the mornings he joined us, Tris and I both tried to coax him to spar with us and not with just a bag. Hitting a bag wouldn't get him anywhere.

I was frustrated by the time we decided to go get breakfast. "You have to fight Al!" I said to him.

"I don't want to hurt you," He retorted.

"Because I'm a girl?"

"Because you're small! I fought Molly and won remember, she's a tank, she just got right back up after."

"Oh, so you think I'm weak and you'll hurt me!" I exclaimed. That sucked. I didn't want to be thought of as weak, or treated differently.

"Will isn't weak and you didn't fight against him." Tris injected.

"Will's my friend!"

"So I'm not your friend then!" I cried.

Al looked at us helplessly as we entered the dining hall. "That's not what I meant."

"Just knock out your opponent Al, or you will be out." I said as I found a seat.

He just grunted in response and started putting food on his plate. I ate sausages and eggs on top of a pancake. It was good and made me feel a bit better, I loved eating. Meal times we just sat around the table talking and it was fun, I didn't realize how much I actually liked being around people until I came here. The others joined us a little bit after that and once we had all finished we headed to the training room.

"Why are there fights listed on the board today, we fought yesterday?" Will asked.

Wondering the same thing we grouped around Four and Eric at the mat.

"Alright!" Four called when everyone got there. "As this is the last week of stage one you will be fighting each other every day this week."

There was some muttered discontent. "What about trying to heal from yesterday?" Molly asked.

"Your enemies won't give you time to heal between each fight. You push through." Four answered.

Wait. Oh no. I looked over at Eric and he was smirking at me, that same little smirk from last night. Of course he knew this was what we were doing this week. And he was going to make me do an extra match at the end of each day as well. With him.

Tris leaned close to my ear. "So, I guess this means you're about to be out of initiation." She didn't say it to be mean, or funny. She was looking at Eric as well; I think she was trying to be supportive.

"No. No, I will just fight harder during each match. If I am quick, I can avoid getting hit too much." I said, I would not lose just because he was trying to prove some point.

"I'm quick, too." She said almost sadly. Sure enough I looked over and she was my opponent for today.

I sighed. Her and I had trained together so often that our moves were very similar. We were pretty evenly matched and last time we fought it took way too long but she ended up winning. It was painful and drawn out. This would suck.

We watched the matches, studying each other as they fought. Four was teaching us different techniques, and trying to get us to pay attention to more than just in the moment punches and kicks. Fighting was not all about brawn apparently, a good fighter was smart, calculative, able to plan and strategize. Four was all of that; so was Eric. The more I learned the more I realized that it was no surprise that he was a leader. I still couldn't quite understand why my brother wouldn't want that position.

I did a bunch of stretches while we watched Edward and Myra fight. Edward didn't want to hurt his girlfriend, but he was by far the best fighter, and she was probably the worst. I had seen him training her sometimes in the morning when we went. Finally, he landed a solid punch to the temple and she instantly went limp. He caught her before she hit the ground and carried her off to the side. I glanced over at Eric and did not miss the look of disgust he gave them.

Tris and I moved into the ring for our fight. Taking up position across from each other we circled the mat slowly.

"Get on with it," My brother snapped.

We both lunged in at the same time. Blocking her punch, I jabbed her, which she blocked. This went on for another minute before I landed a kick to her shin. Her leg dropped a bit at the pain but she just went with the flow and charged at my stomach and knocked us both to the ground. We rolled back and forth for a bit. I had a split lip; so did she. She started to try and stand up but I was right behind her. Wrapping my arms around her neck I held on. Soon she stopped trying to escape and went limp. I let go and stepped away, letting Four take care of her. I wasn't trying to hurt her and she started to stir almost right away.

I had won. Did she let me win or was I really that much better? I wouldn't know unless I asked her though I felt like she wouldn't have given in for any reason. Eric was still watching me as Will and Molly stepped into the ring. He held my stare for a moment before turning to them and telling them to begin.

The match started with Molly swinging the first punch. Will countered and jabbed at her cheek. They circled a bit and again I caught Eric's eye from across the mat. I frowned at him but then Will cut off my view of him. He loved these fights. He was always paying attention and quick to yell at the fighters, why was he watching me? Did I even want to know?

Molly hit the ground and Will staggered off to the side in a win. I missed the final hit, I was preoccupied by someone that shouldn't be catching my attention. I turned away from him again and focused on Will instead. No major bleeding, nothing broken. Christina and I stood on either side of him as Four told us we were done for the day. Everyone started to file out, Will had an arm on Christina's shoulders. I was slowly following when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned my head slightly and saw Eric. "Be here after dinner, don't be late." And then he was out the door.

"What was that?" My brother came up to me, he had waited to helped Molly out but she shrugged him off and left the room alone. Her friends had not bothered to wait for her.

"Nothing," I replied. "Well not nothing, but it's fine."

"What?" He asked suspiciously.

I exhaled my breath gradually and opened my mouth to speak but a quiet beeping came from his pocket. He took a small device out and looked at it quickly.

"I have to go, computer crashed in the control room." Four said as he started to leave abruptly. "Be careful!" He called over his shoulder.

I moved to follow after him and walked leisurely towards the dining hall. I was in no hurry to finish dinner and get beaten up. Though I felt like showing up too late would be something I would enjoy even less. Getting to the loud and crowed room I scanned quickly for my friends. I didn't see them. As glad as I was that I wouldn't have to dodge awkward questions I felt sad that they hadn't stuck around. Christina had been the one to tell me how terrible the situation was. I ate alone quickly, then got up and walked the long way towards the training room. Every step I took closer towards made my stomach flip. This would either be awful or slightly less awful, though I wasn't too optimistic about it. I guess I would find out, I thought as I reached the training room.

**A/N: I know exactly where I want to go with this story, it's just transitioning to get the seems to be harder than I imagined. I was stuck on this chapter far too long! The next one should be much quicker anyways ****J**** Thanks for r&amp;ring! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I saw him immediately once I entered the room, standing next to one of the punching bags. I made my way towards him, taking my time and studying him. What did I know about Eric? I knew that he was muscular, I could see his arms right now without his jacket, though he still wore pants. In fact, I had never seen him in shorts unlike many of the other members. He was a good fighter, I watched my brother and him fight a couple times for display. They both over fought each other and we got a little extra demonstration. He was smart and ambitious I would assume from his position in the faction on top of what I have seen. He could be cruel. Christina, Al, and even Tris could attest to that first hand. But I know he has also been nice and given useful tips to every one during training. Tris mentioned it yesterday, and he had helped me in the morning before. He was some sort of living dichotomy helpful but so brutal, to the point you might not see it. Dauntless was different than Abnegation, this was accepted here.

He turned towards me when I got close and smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. It was a smile a predator would give a prey before they killed them. I did not have a good feeling about this. I stood a couple feet away and crossed my arms. "Why am I here?" I asked.

He took a drink of his water before replying. "You have told me multiple times that you are capable to pass this training. I'd like to see if you really are or not." He tilted his head and then continued, "I'm surprised your friends aren't here with you. Tris is advancing similarly to you."

I shrugged, "She didn't feel like getting beat up twice every day this week." I said casually.

He rolled his eyes. "If you get beaten up, then you don't deserve to be here." He stated. So black and white for him.

"Fighting you isn't a fair challenge. You are bigger, stronger, older, more experienced." Was I making a last ditch effort to not do this? Yes, I think I was. I couldn't even blame myself.

He could, "If you don't want to then all you have to do is leave." By 'leave' I knew he meant leave the faction. I stayed where I was. "Ok then, follow me."

He led me out of the room and down a couple hallways. I followed silently, there wasn't anything I could do anyways. Besides, if he wanted to hurt me he could do it in the middle of the pit and no one would stop him. We passed the room that held the net and a few feet down the hallway he stopped next to a door. The blue balls of light on either side stopped just short of it and had he not stopped there to open it I would never have seen it. He opened the door, stepped to the side and looked at me. He wants me to go first.

I step through the frame and immediately start heading up a dark stairwell, I hear the click of the latch behind me when the door shuts. Glancing back, I see him following me up the stairs. I get to the top and have to stop when the door there is locked. Eric is right behind me, I tense when his chest hits my shoulder as he leans around me to enter a code on the padlock, 6564178. The door opens and cold air rushes towards me, I gratefully step farther out onto what I can now see to be the roof. The roof I jumped off of my first day in fact, I see now why we were so close to the net room. The air is crisp and cold, the sky dark and speckled with stars behind the clouds. I can't see the moon but I can see its glow faintly through some clouds. Closing my eyes, I smile as a large burst of wind hits me. Truly, being outside was one of life's finer moments.

"Why are we up here?" I ask when I open my eyes and see him standing in front of me.

"You can train in the same room every day and still be surprised by elements around you. I brought you here to see how you fair in a different scenario." He says. I am almost surprised by his logic but I know that he transferred from Erudite. He must be as logical and calculative as I am self-less. Sometimes anyways. He is pure Dauntless when he takes position in front of me, arms up, knees bent, his body angled as he faces me. His muscles are taut and he stands still, completely balanced. He looks as rigid as a stature, though I know he is relaxed and ready. Quickly I mirror his stance, once I do he wastes no time in attacking. His blows are tempered; I can feel that right off the bat. I'm glad because I know I would not last long if he was going full force. It also validates my idea that he is not all cruel and vicious.

I block a couple before I lunge in and try to land my own attack. He is poised and controlled. He blocks them and while I am moving as fast as I can I know that he is holding back, he could have knocked me over by now if that was his intention. We dance back and forth a bit, the wind is blowing my hair out of its braid and into my face. I don't try to swipe it away knowing that would be a dangerous move. I stumble when my feet cross an uneven patch of gravel on the rooftop, he steps back as I regain my balance instead of striking at me.

I step back as well and circle with him. He wants me to learn to attack in different scenarios. The training room is level, consistent and bland compared to where we are now. I see pipes, poles, and even crumbled ledges all around us. Perhaps I can use something to my advantage. Directly behind him is a half broken wooden pole that has collapsed onto itself. I spring forward towards him to try and make him step back. The idea could have worked, if he backed up at all. Instead he came forward and met me in my attack. I tried again in different places. When my back was to the wooden pole I had seen the first time I let him come at me. I blocked his fists and stepped back, block his fist and stepped back. I thought my positioning was correct so I tried to jab at him, and instead of blocking his oncoming fist I leapt backward over the pole. The momentum of his swing brought his body forward and he almost, _almost_, stumbled into it but he caught himself quickly and leaped over it. He smirked at me as he stood there. I groaned in frustration. My legs are aching and my arms are sagging. It is late, the sky is dark and the moon is high above us. I don't want to give in and quit but I want this to end, unfortunately Eric does not acknowledge surrendering and for some reason my stamina is being tested more than anything.

We move in a little dance for a few more minutes. I am backing up more than I had at first, my arms are not taking this pounding well and I want to avoid the hits as much as I can. Suddenly he moves in very close to me, pulling my body against his hip, and then grabbing my arm and thigh he propels me over his shoulder. I take in a deep breath as I prepare the hit the ground but the air continues to rush past me. He didn't throw me onto the roof. He threw me off of the roof. _He threw me off of the roof. _

I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even scream in my sudden panic. I was completely frozen staring up at the sky above me as I sailed to what would inevitably be my death. Obviously I had failed his test, whatever that fight had been. Seconds past and my body hit something, all the air flew out of my already burning lungs. _The net_._ That bastard threw me onto the net._

I gasped. I was relieved and angry all at once. I felt heat rush through my body, followed by an icy cold when I realized that he would be jumping down after. Sluggishly I tried to make my limbs coordinate to get me toward the edge and off. My body felt tingly, and my muscles felt as sturdy as jelly. I did not get very far when his body hit the net and as I had the night before I bounced opposite him a few times before I finally rested half against him on the center of the net.

Propping myself up on my elbow I looked down at Eric. "You threw me off the roof!" I snarled at him, impressing myself with the strength I heard in my voice. I did not feel that strength anywhere in my body.

He laughed. He actually laughed at me, and I am not sure if it was mocking or genuine laughter.

"What is so funny!" I demanded, still angry.

"Nothing," He said but still he laughed again.

I huffed and I think it sounded more like a growl. I put my opposite hand on his chest to try and push off before the arm holding my weight gave out completely. I could feel his heartbeat under my hand, I could feel his body heat. I was still hovering over him as I looked at his face and made eye contact, he was no longer laughing but his eyes were bright and he looked happier then I had seen him. He was Eric, but he was different. Not the Eric I had seen every day in training, he had more animation in his face then I had seen before.

My body felt heavy, the aching intensified as the adrenaline left me. I could feel my head lowering and didn't realize what I was doing until I had done it. My lips brushed against his for a short second before I pulled back just slightly. One of his hands came up trailing along my hip and up my back. The touch was so light, so unlike what I had expected. As if reading my thoughts his other hand gripped around the back of my neck putting a small pressure there encouraging me to dip my head again. This time the kiss lasted a little bit longer and when I pulled back we were still so close that our noses were touching. I would have pulled back even more but his hand was still heavy on the back of my neck and it was easier to lower my head for a third time instead.

My arm had folded under me and I was laying on him again. I could feel every inch where we were touching. Our legs twined together and my shoulder dipped into the net under his. The hand on my back continued to move, still gently, and I felt calmer with every trip up and down it made. I let out a small sigh and he shifted our bodies so we were both on our sides, and then he was hovering over me. There was another kiss and I brought my hand up to grip his arm, right below his shoulder, pulling him closer. I couldn't think about much else until his weight started to press down on me. My mind flew elsewhere in that moment, somewhere danker and full of jeering voices. I panicked. I drew in a sharp breath and tried to twist away, pushing him away with the hand that seconds ago had pulled him closer.

He pulled away instantly and was sitting half foot from me, watching me intently, as I took in a shaky breath and maneuvered my way towards the edge of the net. I rolled off and again was surprised with how quickly he managed to get to the edge. "Eric, I-"

"It's late," He interpreted me. "You should go back to your dorm room." And he turned and left. That was that. So easily leader Eric switched back on, as if nothing had happened. If only I could do that too.

A/N: I'm just thinking that I probably should have put in dreams or something explaining her situation but the original plan was to explain during fear landscapes so that is what's happening. It will make sense come then!


End file.
